Our lives, our choices; let every women live their lives by themselves

Subeksha, with lots of dreams had come to Kathmandu to fulfill her dreams of starting her independent life, having her own career and having her destiny by her own but because she got ditched by her boyfriend, opted to marry the guy chosen by her parents even without knowing much about him and now is leading a life which she hadn't dream of i.e being bounded in the four walls of the room. Sambriddhi, couldn't express her dream of being an engineer to her parents, so she went for nursing and now though she has become a nurse isn't happy anymore with her profession. Rita, got the scholarship from one of the reputed Universities of Australia but didn't go just because her boyfriend couldn't manage the long distance relationship and asked her not to leave him. These are some of the females, whom I know very closely and are very unhappy of their lives. And in my opinion they are unhappy because they are not living the lives of their choices.

These may be some major issues where we may sometimes do mistake of making a choice of our own like choosing a life partner, career and sacrificing for our loved ones, where we surely need to take suggestions from our parents, elders or friends but our problem is that we even don't think about our minor choices like our hobbies, dresses we want to put on, places we want to visit and all those things we want to do. Most of the females, end up living someone else's dream and call themselves as unfortunate. And this leads us to have more complexities in our lives. Many of us, look at our friends or colleagues lives and ask each other "what is your key to happiness?" "Why am I so unfortunate that I can't even go and watch a movie I want to see?"" I like to wear skirts but my boyfriend doesn't like it, so I have to wear kurtis". We complain with each other. But we never give time to ourselves and ask "what do I want to do in my life?" "what makes me happy?" The key to happiness is not what anyone else thinks of us at any level, and even not comparing our lives with someone other's lives but searching our soul within ourselves.

We, all the women have the power to notice our choices, to own our choices, to shape our lives according to our choices or even to change our choices. Let us take time to learn about ourselves, reflect on our day, what we are feeling. There may be something that we want to add in our lives. There may be something that we want to remove from our lives. We can choose our hobby, we can choose our dress, we can choose our career and we can choose our life partner, we can have a choice that what kind of day we want to pass. It's not a law that women have to be bounded only within the four walls of the room and do the household chores, we even have the choice of leaving the dishes on the floor to clean it out by our husbands or doing it by yourselves after sometime.

Why should we care about other? If we like eating chocolates, then we will eat it no matter what our would be husband will think about our weight. Why to put a pink kurtee just because my friend like it? Let him see that I like black t-shirt with blue jeans. Why should we stop laughing just because our patriarchal society wants us to pretend like a shy and decent fairy, when we like to have the monstrous laugh? Let us lead our lives by ourselves so we shouldn't have to complain any one for our unhappiness. Yes, it's difficult. People will not understand. They will taunt us. They will gossip about us but why shall we sacrifice our happiness just for the sake of others, after all the society is not always right, as Henrik Ibsen in his 'An Enemy of the People' says "the majority is never right. Never, I tell you! That's one of these lies in society that no free and intelligent man can help rebelling against. Who are the people that make up the biggest proportion of the population- the intelligent or the fool?"

Most of us keep on waiting for the right time to come about through someone else's action or some super man. But in reality there is a super woman with in us, ourselves who will lead the way, open the door or solve our problems. So let's wake up to find ourselves, to find our choices. We only need to take the first step then we will find the way, the way to our dreams. Let's start with the small step and the big will soon be achieved. We all know what we want in our lives. So, why to give  others the dictatorship of our life, rather than designing our life as per our dictates. Let us have the freedom like a bird to move wherever we want to according to our choices after all none can hinder anyone's free will, that's the first law of the universe, no matter what the decision.

http://www.bichardabali.com/articles/our-lives-our-choices (Featured on Bichar Dabali)

Iron Gate and its Fear...

School Leaving Certificate or S.L.C. was the biggest fear during my childhood days. Everyone used to scare me saying its not like any other usual exams. It's the 'iron gate' so if you will pass it you will move on to a very glorious life ahead and if you won't then your life will be ruined. So the exam was like a sword over my head. When I reached grade 10, this exam haunted me even when I passed my pre-send up exams and send-up exams with good marks, I was too afraid to face the iron gate. But finally the day arrived when I had to go through it. And when I actually faced it, then I realized it was not that difficult. It was like any other usual exams. So why were every one frightening me? And now I feel that S.L.C is not the only step that would lead me to a bright future there are several other steps that I had to move on to and which are even harder but nobody warned me about it and no one prepared me for it, neither my teachers nor my parents because every one was so focused on those papers of S.L.C. exam.

And now when here is the S.L.C. fever everywhere, I heard from some of the tenth grade students that they found S.L.C. so easy because they got ample opportunities to cheat from their friend's copies and even from the guess papers and books that they were successful to take inside the exam hall. So what Is the use of that certificate which we achieve even without knowing the real subject matter? We, being a guardian or a teacher always want to see our children to have a very good percentage in S.L.C. We want to see them being enrolled in a good college and have a better professional life with the marks of S.L.C. but we forget somewhere to give them the knowledge that there are so many other things that they have to learn to become happy and successful in their lives. And there are many important lessons that we must learn beyond our academic pursuits, particularly for the enhancement of our professional career, which we all longed for.

Yes, S.L.C or academic excellence is important but let us not scare our children so much with the S.L.C. ghost that they even forget the moral values of the exam and scribble the answer papers with what they don't know but have attained only by cheating because most of the students think that if for some reasons they are unable to perform as per their parents, teachers or their own expectation or they don't get the distinction their lives will be ruined. Because of which some of them even take their lives if they don't get as per their expectation.  That's why they think it's better to cheat and pass it.

S.L.C. examinations are hyped to such a degree that for a child, failure in it is the end of the world. The stress is immense. That's why sometimes the students can't perform well as per their preparation or their expectation just because of the pressure. But a student's ability can never only be judged by the report card or marks that he achieves by sitting in the exam hall for three hours, in addition to exam grades there are other important factors to be cared of to rank a student like their contribution to school life, membership in sports, community work and also their attitude towards education. Along with these there are some essential qualities which a child must learn from his school life like discipline, perseverance, empathy and self control. So its our duty to make our children prepared for life outside the school gates not just the some one who gets trapped inside the exam hall. 

DLE Exams..

Today as it was the first day of District Level Examinations of 2070, our students of grade eight were nervous. They had prepared a lot for it and today it was the exam of English subject. And I was also called to be the invigilator of the exam hall. So as per my duty I went into the classroom, everything was set, the time of examination started and it ended also. It was a new experience for me but I tried to do my best to make the students do the exam as per the examinations rule. But when I came outside of the class, my students came running towards me and complained and asked me that why I hadn't come in their classroom to teach them because other school's teacher came their to teach them. My answer to them was that I taught you at school and now its your turn to show that you have understood. But why these things happen? Why the teachers do these kinds of activities, why is all this happening and what can we expect from the students who has learnt to cheat from their own teachers is still on my mind. 

Photo Blog

Photo blog dedicated for my student's on Republica Newspaper