Cursed Pregnancy, Blessed Motherhood

"Motherhood: All love begins and ends here."

Robert Browning, an English poet, using those few words says it all about the gravity of  parturition.

Every culture and society appreciates and honors mother and motherhood. Everyone celebrates the fact that a mother carries her child in her belly and awe her for her choice of being pregnant. We have heard that pregnancy is by far the most beautiful experience that any one could ever be part of. Connecting it with feminine traits, we say that a woman becomes complete only when she carries a child in her womb. It's really unfortunate that a man can never feel his belly growing with a new life inside it and hear the heart beat for the first time. Except those sperms contributed by man, pregnancy is an ultimate feminist act. But it's so paradoxical that pregnancy becomes a huge subject to the needs of a patriarchal society. 

I still remember my aunt who had to suffer the unreasonable taunts of society for not being pregnant even after half a decade of their marriage. She was always glared at and had to answer different questions regarding her prolonged infertility, which she was unable to respond to as her gynecologist too wasn't being able to find the exact answer.

Eventually, the loads of medications worked and one month she didn't bleed. The news flooded every corner with bliss. But that happiness couldn't remain longer with my aunt as she had to imprison herself within the walls of her room because of her growing belly. Now every eyes were glued on her giant abdomen and then they were taunting her for not being so careful to hide it. 

Why should she have to hide it? Wasn't it a proud moment for her? After all she had waited so many years for that moment?

I realized my aunt was the queen of the then patriarchal chess game. It was fifteen years back. Now, the time has spun. We can't pass a newsstand these days without seeing pregnant hollywood celebrities happily posing (sometimes naked) for the cover of some 'A' listed magazines. Every time I pass the newsstand I had the feeling that yes, now the day has come when none of the women have to go through that depressing state or have to be questioned all the time regarding their attire during pregnancy.

Malvika Subba on the set of NTV ready for
interview. (It's her boldness that she has accepted
to challenge the existing assumption that pregnant
women should hide themselves inside the four walls
of their room)
Photo extracted from Malvika's Public Profile

I was wrong. Not yet. Women aren't that free. Yes, some people pretend to be transformed. They talk about women empowerment and the need of confidence in a woman, but when they really encounter the one, they start judging and reproaching her. Malvika Subba, a well known media personality, is enjoying her pregnancy-hood these days. And I am shocked to see the negative comments that are being passed to her through social media for not concealing her baby bumps. Those who didn't use to get tired of praising her for her bold personality and dress up sense are now putting her down for being too valiant in her appearance and exposure during her pregnancy.

Malvika is just an example. There may have been many women who are challenging this presumption of our society. But being a celebrity Malvika dares to bring the limelight on this issue and we can imagine, being one of the leading women of Nepal if she has to face this trouble, what could be the case of other normal women?   

This really puzzles me. Why pregnancy is made a subject to insult a woman? Is it because pregnancy exposes their private sex life? Or, for what? Otherwise I don't find any reason.

Pregnancy radiates woman power. It signifies life.

With this I don't mean that everyone should expose their pregnancy moments. But what I feel is, who are we to stress them on how they should keep carefully hidden behind layers of clothes? They already are having so many changes in their bodies as well as lives. Isn't that a big thing? 

It's so amazing that a female body is full of immense capacity. It can change, adapt and also has the strength and resilience of being pregnant. They know what they are comfortable in.They know what they should choose and what they must avoid. When we talk about choice, I will not be wrong when I say, more than males, females have problem for what another woman chooses for herself. It's so disgraceful. If a woman finds happiness in flaunting her baby bump, then its her choice, we must respect that. Particularly, I don't understand how can she hide it, it gets exposed one way or the other. After all she is not showing off her naked belly.

If we term sex as a private affair, then pregnancy too is a private and precious affair. It's her choice whether she conceals her bumps with pretty loose alternative dresses or with pride in firm fitting clothes. If she chooses to show it then it simply means she is comfortable with that. Why should she hide it just because we are uncomfortable? We may choose to ignore her. No, but we don't even do that. May be our demon inside us doesn't sleep without profaning her. 

'Barefoot and Pregnant', the days when these terms were famous are all gone now. Women have proved themselves that they have a huge strength within them and can excel in any field. For a woman to create, grow and give birth to another life is unbelievable. A beautiful bundle of joy is growing there inside her womb, so let's not curse that joy even before it lands. World is already filled with so much disgrace, let's not catch hold and pull the happiness quickly. That child growing inside her womb may be the one who would make this world a better place. Cursing her mom means cursing the child. Bless her regardless of her choice after all we know that pregnancy is not a sin.