Taekwondo Girl: Soni Khadka (Story of Transformation 26)

It's a mere coincidence that when I am writing this story, the theater near our place is flocked with audience for 'Dangal', a Bollywood movie, with the story of a wrestler father training his young daughters to become a world-class wrestlers. So let me clarify, this story is not the outcome of an inspiration from the movie, rather a strong desire to find a female who belittles the norms of patriarchal society which thinks females are best when they are submissive and shy and are beautiful only when they are cladded with nurturing feminine gesture.

Soni in action

I recently got acquainted with Soni Khadka, a Nepalese ITF Taekwon-Do player. Our few minutes talk inspired me to know more about her and her journey on this game; the game well known for its kick, jumps and grappling techniques. Well, obviously the game more associated with the strength and have the high probability of breaking bones if gone wrong. Thus, has the high chances of not being the game of first choice because of its physicality and risks. However, Soni, only at the age of 20 when she has already been selected as the “National Player” and also a trainer for school children, definitely must have started playing it at a much younger age. Thus, I was curious to know actually what prodded her towards the game.

After her regional selection 

Soni’s taekwon-do story started at age 12. As a child she was always teased by boys for her dark complexion and plump body. She wished taking revenge with them. Being raised in the family which had seven daughters, she always felt the desire of being son for her parents. One day, she made a random decision to join the taekwon-do training at school. She wasn’t serious about it but her coach definitely was. He motivated her towards it. She took the training as she could threaten the boys with her taekwon-do skills. However, she still wasn’t sure about continuing it. Then, she got an opportunity to participate in the district level championship and surprisingly won the gold medal and that changed her life. Why wouldn’t it, after all, it’s a huge achievement for a 14 year. “After that event, I bought a proper dress for my training as for two years I used to do the training on skirt which was really uncomfortable. I thought I need to focus now onwards.”, reminisces Soni.

After the 5th South Asian Game, 2015

Eight years of hard work and finally the entry in National game, Soni has really worked hard.  “Whatever I am now, the credits of my success goes to terribly hard training and my coaches”, shares Soni. Even before the sun would kiss the Himalayas with its golden rays, Soni would always be on a marathon to Pashupatinath from Bhaktapur, then another set of training during the day after her school and also the last one when the sun would bid good bye. Soni repeated her gold medal heroics in 2nd South Asian Game, and again, in the 5th South Asian Game.

The girl from Bhaktapur had never ever imagined of wearing a gold medal when she started her journey as a player and now she wishes to wear an Olympic gold medal around her neck someday. The conditions are that this reality sounds like a fiction but she is determinant that the reality will mirror fiction. Though she could just win the bronze in the recently held National Game, she isn’t disappointed rather determinant to work harder for the gold as she says, “When gold medals are around my neck, I feel like I am at the top of the world and I can do anything to make them mine.”

Women’s sports are on the rise, but one can go far only when one is determinant to take the risks opines Soni. She shares, “Taekwondo is not just the physical game rather a mental game as well. What we need is the strength to handle all the troubles that comes on our journey and the determination to continue it in whatever situation. I remember those days when I used to lose all the games and also had to fight with parents for the trainings. Different social issues arise, especially for women; we are judged for coming home late, even our relationships with our coach are misinterpreted but we need to be strong.”

The government hasn’t provided proper support to the players which makes the life of athletes hard. At the same time, females face added social and family pressure to leave a sport that is seen as overly aggressive and masculine. Amid all these, Soni is gritty when it comes to taekwon-do.

“Choosing to do taekwon-do was the best decision in my life. Though, I started it to prove myself as a son but when I have made my journey so far, I feel it's not about proving rather about becoming and finding self", she shares. 

“I am me because of taekwon-do. It’s my identity. I will never drop out because I won’t be me the day I drop out from the game", shares Soni with strong determination.

All in all, what I can say is this girl is made up of courage, determination, toughness, talent, guts and sacrifice and I am sure, her strength will definitely lead her to success.

म, त्यो वनफुल

भिर पाखा पछ्याउदै हिड्ने

उकाली ओराली सजाउदै रम्ने

तिम्रा कोठाका चार पर्खालभन्दा

धेरै पर,

अनकंटार झाडीहरु बिच हराएर

हतास निरास तिमी

जब एकछिन आफैमा रमाउन चहान्छौ,

त्यस बेला,

लहरै लहरामा अल्झिएर

चिरिक्क पार्ने त्यो कांडाको विचमा

मूशुक्क मुस्कुराउदै

तिमीलाई शितलता दिने

म, त्यो वनफुल

प्र्रश्न, हामी दुवैलाई

सोच त,

पखाई आखिर के को थियो;

त्यो अध्यारो रातको,

वा हाम्रो सुमधुर साथको,

छुट्एिका विस्मातको

वा नभनिएका बातको ?

आनन्द आखिर केमा थियो;

हामीबिच बढ्दै गएको तापको

वा हाम्रा अनावश्यक रापको

एक अर्कासंग नपोखिएका विलापको 

वा हाम्रो घनिष्ठ मिलापको ?

उत्तर, पक्कै यो विहानीको रौनकमा छ 

हाम्रो मुहारको चमकमा छ 

बाहिर नआए के भो र, 

तिम्रो र मेरो एउटै भएको मायालु मनमा छ । 

किन ?

प्रश्नै प्रश्नबिच अल्झिएकी म,
उत्तर त पक्के तिमीसंग नि छैन्न ।
तर हरेक पल निशब्दताको प्रहार
मलाई मात्र किन ?

हो, मबाट धेरै गल्तीहरु भएका छन्,
खैर, तिमी पनि त पक्कै निर्दोश छैनौ,
तर कलंकीत आखिर म मात्र किन ?

तिमीसंग

तिम्रा नयनभित्र लुकेका सपना कत्ति शक्तिशाली 

मेरो शूशुप्त मनमा नि ज्वारभाटा ल्याईदिने 

तिम्रो स्पर्शको त झन् कुरै नगरौ, 

चिसो यो मौसममा अनौठो न्यानोपन जगाईदिने ।

Ode to those UNWANTED Feelings !!

"Good morning", I said to myself.

I woke up with a whole lot of emotions; all cramped up. I was a bit contemplative, quite lot in rush, somewhat pained, may be more in indignation. With each passing hours, I could feel, my jar of sentiments being stuffed.

I was pissed off.

I was confused.

I was in stress.

I was all ready to burst out.

I was in tears. (No, I didn’t show it. But I was crying.)

“Good afternoon”, the clock greeted me. 

Suddenly, I was blank. I had no feelings, yet I had them. But I couldn’t recognize what I was going through. I can’t name them since they had already mingled with each other and I wasn’t able to figure out actually what I was feeling.

“Did I want to express?” or “Did I want silence?”

A part of me asked to be reflective and asked me to find an answer. However, there was another part, that was also within me that was reluctant to push my heart and mind on it.

I wasn’t able to crack myself. I tried to solve the riddle but I was stuck. 

"Oh! No." 

Not actually stuck. I think I was swinging. I was jumping in from one emotions to another. I was sort of lost within me. 

“Good evening”, the sun with its dim yellowish rays welcomed me. With its dimness, I tried to calm my thoughts. I was quite unruffled. I tried to explain myself with those vague justifications about life that everyday isn’t perfect and I don’t have control over my feelings. Then, a question popped up, “Actually why do I need explanations and justifications?”

Whatever I would explain would be just for the time being. Another day or another moment I would feel something different or may be the same but definitely would provide a different reason. 

Isn’t it good just to be mindful; mindful of what I am feeling? Or what I am going through?

Unexpectedly, I went few days back when I was little introspective and I was having conversation happily with my 99 years self.

She was saying,

“Thank you, as you

gave me the reasons to smile.

You waited as when you needed time

You kept your emotions sublime.

Time is what you have used so well,

as it didn’t always have jingle bells.

Thank you, as you kept quiet

when they were expecting you would burst out and fight.

Thank you once again, for the happiness

I feel young and beautiful even on this wrinkled face.”

Yes, how easily feelings do change. 

Here, yes it’s the time to say “Good night” and I am feeling quite expressive. After all, these roller coaster rides of feelings is what makes me a human being. Yes, a human being. How much I try to unwelcome them, they would definitely find a space within me. Thus, let me be true to myself and say, “Hello, everyone I had a bad day today.”

Arjun's Path: A Rebel's Journey (Story of Transformation 25)

Spooky summer on the horizon I’m gazing at 

from my window into the streets 

That’s where it’s going to be where everyone is 

walking around, looking around out in the open 

suspecting each other’s heart to open fire 

all over the streets 

                              like streets you read about every day 

who are the network we travel through on the way to the center 

which is energy filling life 

and bursting with joy all over the screen 

                                                             I can’t sit still any longer! 

-          Extracted from "Revolution" by Anne Waldman

I can’t sit still any longer. There are few who can so proudly but at the same time benevolently come upfront and share that they can’t sit still any longer to all the negative energies surging around. It’s extremely difficult to be fierce and at the same time forgiving. I always try to find a balance between these two natures within me and have found out that it’s a challenging task. However, there are some people who have been able to carry both these qualities within themselves and project it even in the most difficult situation. Amazingly, I do have them in my friend’s book even among those few. Undoubtedly, it’s none other than Arjun Kumar Acharya whom I met seven years ago.

Arjun Kumar Acharya

Born and brought up in Bhojpur, a remote village of eastern mountain region of Nepal, 30 years Arjun has gone through the oddest phases of life which I bet only handful of us have gone through. When he goes back to his childhood days, it’s only the pain and sufferings he can remember. Lack of awareness among people, discrimination, lack of education and health facilities were the issues that he had to face along with his folks.

Arjun reflects, “The condition of my village was really frustrating. Having to face all those problems, I was already turning a rebel. I wanted to be a change.” That drive for social change was the triggering factor that led him to choose the struggling life as a Maoist cadre in his tender age of 16. Being influenced by the philosophical speeches and beautiful dreams of Naya Nepal (New Nepal), he along with 12 other friends joined the rebel force.

Arjun still gets goose bumps when he recalls the second day as a cadre, “We were attacked by Nepal Army and with no any knowledge of how to save ourselves, I ran through the alleys and terrains for several hours and finally when I realized I was safe, my legs and knees started to hurt with the wounds that he had got when we were fleeing. I hadn’t imagined war would be so frightful.”

When he revealed this, I asked him, “Didn’t you feel like leaving the movement after that incident?”

“I was highly driven by the thought that I would be of some help for my country. Several other tragic incidences befell even after them but leaving the movement never came on my mind. I was there during the war and till today I abide by the philosophy of Maoist”, shared Arjun. Working as a cadre, he learned about the other bitter realities of societies, the injustice people are compelled to live with and it made him recognize the importance of youths to join the politics. Then, it also led to a turning point in his life when he got an opportunity to get involved in the radio station run by Maoist “Radio Janagadatantra”. Then, slowly he started writing in Maoist’s weekly newspapers and after the peace process, he stated his career as a journalist.

Arjun inspires me with his several traits. He mentored me while I was working as a journalist and what I really like about him is that he is never judgmental and frustrated. Even when it comes to the issues of his background, he acknowledges the opinion people have towards him and he tries his best to never let his philosophy and life come in his work. Now, the Executive Editor of “Janabidroha Daily” and Page Layout Designer of “Nagarik Dainik Purbeli” has indulged himself into the revolution of agriculture of Nepal through “Mukti Krishi Co-operatives”

When he reminiscences those days of civil war, he thinks whatever happened then, it was good for that time being but things have changed now and a peaceful approach are to be considered. He shares, “Now, it’s the youth who need to work in the development of Nepal and thus, I am trying best from my side.”

I can imagine how his life had been when he had to face all those turmoil. Yes, his life hadn’t really been a red carpet walk and here in these few hundred words I can only relay some few experiences and what he has transformed into from what he was but behind those there are definitely the painful emotions, the tears, the hard choices and the difficult steps he had to undertake. 

To conclude our conversation, I asked him a final question, “What is life for you?”

He answered, “Life is experience. Life is truth. Life is struggle. Life is occasion.”

सायद तिमीलाई नि !

बाटो मोडिएपछि छुट्एिका;

यी तिम्रा र मेरा पाईलाहरुले

सायद, एक अर्कालाई कहिले पछ्याउने छैनन् । 

त्यही पनि आश्चर्य लाग्छ,

मेरा कानमा अझै पनि तिम्रा 

पदचाप गुञ्जीन्छन् 

सायद तिमीलाई नि यस्तै हुदो हो । 

साथ छोडिएपछि अब

तिम्रा र मेरा हातहरु

एकअर्काका साहारा कहिले नहुदाहुन्

तर म छक्क पर्छु!

तिम्रो स्पर्शको न्यानोपन 

म अझै नि महशुस गर्छु

सायद तिमीलाई नि यस्तै हुदो हो । 

कस्तो कस्तो ?

खै कस्तो कस्तो ?

केही भएर नि नभए जस्तो

पाएर नि नपाए जस्तो

बोलेर नि नबोले जस्तो

कति विचित्रको हाम्रो सम्बन्ध ?

नभेटे नि भेटेजस्तो

नसोचे नि सोचेजस्तो

नहेरे नि हेरेजस्तो

सायद कल्पनामै त छ आनन्द;

टाडिएनि नजिकिएजस्तो

भुलेनि नभुलेजस्तो

हारेनि जितेजस्तो

सपना

सोच्छु कहिले काही 

तिम्रो अंगालोमा बाधिउ, 

माया पिरतीका मीठा मीठा कुरा गरौं

तिमीसंग मज्जाले धक फुकाएर हासौं । 

अनि त्यसबिचमा आउछ अर्को सोच

तिम्रो र मेरो सपनाहरुको 

जो नदिका दुई किनारझै कहिले नमिल्ने छन् । 

सपनाहरु कै त अर्थ छ यहां 

त्यसैले तिम्रो सामिप्यताभन्दा 

मेरा सपना नै प्यारा छन् मलाई 

अनि फेरी आउछ अर्को सोच

तिम्रो अंगालो पनि त एउटा सपना नै हो

त्यही भएर त त्यो मीठो छ 

एकदमै मीठो  । 

Trodden Self

Confused between the thin lines

Lingering on the thoughts of disguise

I question, " What to be" and "What not to be"

Started a journey, thousand miles long

I have stuck here on the crossroads and paused

My head forbids me to stop, 

asks me to resume and walk nonstop

Then, my heart starts thudding

requests me to take a turn

I can't be so mean and stubborn.

Brain punches my emotion

Feelings kick my rational. 

Then, my wounded soul bellows.

"Poor me!"

I stand here shaken and trodden:

trapped in between the junctions undecided. 

Seeking Identity through Images: Shiv Kandel's Photography (Story of Transformation 24)

Picture captured at Simle, Lalitpur on Monday, December 15, 2014, 11:03:16 AM

What do you see in this picture?

Can you imagine what's covered with that blue shawl?

With reference to its shape or with that of the half revealed objects next to it, you may definitely bring different objects in your mind. And you may even not bother thinking about what it is as the photograph may not have attracted you enough, but you may be amazed to know this is the best photograph for Shiv Kandel among the ones he has captured till date.

Burk Uzzle, an American photo journalist, in 1938 said, "Photography helps people to see". And talking about this photograph with Shiv made me realize the same. He could see the whole Tamang community of Simle, a village of Nepal in this single picture and I was amazed to know the story behind it. Actually, the shape covered below that blue shawl (cloth) is that of a young girl who used to be one of his students. She, like other students of Simle was very shy . That day she was fetching water and when she saw Shiv trying to capture her photograph she hid herself under that shawl.

Shiv Kandel

Shiv shares, "When I see this picture, even now, I think of all the other children who are struggling to learn new things in their classroom either because they are introvert or because they don't find a comfortable environment for learning."

Shiv worked as a Teach For Nepal Fellow and taught Mathematics for two years at Simle. Yes, he has several stories of transformation working as a Fellow. However, this time, I wanted to talk to a new person that I have noticed Shiv has grown into.

I knew Shiv three years back and since then I have seen him being keen on photography. I have seen him posting all his photographs on his Facebook wall and going through it I have seen him growing to be a wonderful photographer. Thus, this time I wanted to talk to him about his journey of photography and I think what he shared is definitely worth spreading.

Now working as a Documentation coordinator at Teach For Nepal, Shiv has a responsibility of collecting stories of all the Fellows of Teach For Nepal. But apart from that he loves being acquainted with people from different backgrounds and learning their perspectives. This gets reflected well in his photographs. You can find him capturing each and every moment. Though, he is being praised for his photographic skills these days, he doesn't like being called a photographer. And he has his own logic for that. 

Photo's story: Surakhsya has a small cut on her lips.
Yesterday before going to school she wasn't willing to eat. Her
sister was persuading her to eat and go to school.

"I may look rigid but I am very emotional by heart. I love saving the memories as it helps me deal with my frustrations. Whenever I am in pain or in confusion, I go back to my memories and droll on it. My photographs motivate me. It reveals the true side of me. Going through them I find myself and that self is not a professional photographer but I am out of my experiences and memories." shares Shiv. 

When I am writing this I am aware that several photographs are already being uploaded in the social media and thousands of ‘selfies’ are being taken which are soon going to be part of your account. But have we ever reflected about ourselves looking at our own photographs? Have we ever tried reading the story that our own portrait displays? 

Definitely 'NO' in my case. But after listening to what he shared, I will definitely observe it properly now onwards. I will try to understand each and every pixel of the image. Shiv started capturing photos only a year back when his elder brother gifted him a DSLR. Without knowing the proper use of it, he started capturing photos and only after few months he realized that the color that he had been thinking his best color is actually not his best its rather the other one. 

"What is your name?"
"My name is Suman Pahari"
"What is your school's name?"
"My school's name is Annapurna School."
"In which class do you read?"
"I read in class 5."
"Aren't you getting late for school?"
"Yes."
Before you go, can I take your photo?"
"Yes"
Suman's mother is one of the street vendors in Ason
who sells cigarettes and tobacco. She always insists him
to speak English even at home.

"I always thought black was my best color thus used to take life either black or white but after observing the photos that I happened to capture, I realized how colorful everything and life was.  And this drastically changed the way I perceived people around me." reflects Shiv. 

Another interesting part of Shiv's photography is that he tries to avoid the use of zoom lens because he feels that it would take away his opportunity of getting connected with his subject. Shiv reveals "I don't want to be an outsider in my photograph rather I want to get well connected with them. I want to learn their story before clicking their portrait and I want my photos to reveal that story." 

As I mentioned earlier, I knew Shiv three years back. Talking to this Shiv, I found a huge transformation in him from that non-reflective Shiv to this contemplative Shiv. I know several experiences of his life has made him the one he is today. However, I feel, which he too accepts is that some of the credit goes to the camera that captures his experiences and gives him a moment to reflect upon. 

Next time if you click a photo observe it carefully, your photo too may reveal a story that could change the way you perceive your life. 

You may go through his beautiful photographs at https://www.facebook.com/shiv.kandel/photos?source_ref=pb_friends_tl

Shiv shares his photo stories at http://shivkandel.blogspot.com/

कथा, त्यो बादलको

"म त्यो बादल हँु ।"
"हो, साँच्ची भन्या के म त्यो उडि हिड्ने बादल हँु । निराकार बादल । म गतिहिन छु अनि आफ्नै तालमा मस्त पनि छु । म आफ्नै आवेगमा छु, आफ्नै गड्गडाहट मलाई प्यारो लाग्छ । त्यसैले त म भागी हिड्छु तिमीबाट । 
कति समाउन खोज्छौ तिमी मलाई ? "
"के तिमी थाक्दैनौ ? कति पच्छाइरहन्छौ तिमी यो थाँहा हुँदा हँुदै कि म गतिहिन छु । 
तिमीलाई डर लाग्दैन मेरो गतिहिनताले तिमीलाई पागल बनाउने छ भनेर । कतै तिमी पनि म जस्तै विना उदेश्य विहार गर्न थाल्यौ भने । नियालेर हेर त मलाई । सधै म सफेद कहा हुन्छु र ? कालो, धुस्रो फुस्रो हुँदा के तिमी मलाई हेर्न सक्छौ ? "
"अहँ, सक्दैनौ । म नै धरधरी रुन्छु मेरो त्यो कुरुपता देखेर ।" 

एकोहोरो बोलिरहीन् उनी । म सोच मग्न बन्न पुगे । 

म भन्न चहान्थे, "प्रिय, तिमी बादल भए म तिम्रो आकाश बन्न चहान्छु । तिमी धुस्री फुस्री हुदै रुँदा म तिमीलाई अंगालेर सम्हाल्न चहाँन्छु । होसमा त अहिले नि कहाँ छु र म अब पागलपनको डर हुन । तिमी गतिहिन्ताको कुरा गर्छौ म त तिमी विना पाइला चाल्नै सक्दिन । तिमी थकानको कुरा गर्छौ, म त ठान्छु यो दौडिने शक्ति तिमीले त दिएकी हौ । तिमी उड्छौ र त म दौडिदै छु । नत्र त म उभिन खोज्ने साहस राख्ने नि मान्छे हैन ।" 

आँहा! कस्ता मिठा मिठा शब्दहरु मनमनै बग्दै थिए तर खै के भयो उनीसामु वर्षीन सकेनन । 

म मौन उभीरहे । उनी आफ्नै गतीमा ओझेल भइसकिछिन् । 

प्रश्नोत्तर

तिमीले नसोधेका प्रश्न
अनि मैले नदिएका जवाफको
हरेक शब्द थाहा छ मलाई
अनि थाहा छ तिनका प्रत्यक भावहरु

तिमीले दबाएका तिम्रा हासो
सायद मैले देखिन
न देखायौ तिमीले नै मैले लुकाएका मेरा आसुहरु
म सोचिरहे तिमीले कुनै बेला त पक्के सोध्ने छौ
म पर्खिरहे तिम्रो एक प्रश्न
अनि सायद तिमी नि पर्खिरर्हौ मैले नदिएका उत्तरहरु

Flying on her Dreams; Ramailo Guff with Nita (Story of Transformation 23)

“Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die              

Life is a broken-winged bird,

That cannot fly.”

– Langston Hughes

Many of the times we relate to those lines of Hughes.

We contemplate. Yet, fail to act upon. We dream. Yet, dare to achieve. We aspire success. Yet, too afraid to lose. Then, with each new sunsets we are burdened with very new regrets; of all those plans that we couldn’t figure out in reality, of all those wishes that didn’t come true, of all those accidents that could have been prevented. Every night we bury our dreams and then comes that holy morning with the ignition of our knowledge that our life has already torn apart between the fantasy and reality, between promises and struggles. And we clench our feathers.

Scripts may be different but in some ways we find ourselves in the situation when we feel we can’t move ahead, when none of our plans are working and whatever we do, we are miles away from our dreams. Then, we feel that only the intellectuals like Confucius can glorify failure. Only they can say it’s not about failing but about rising after each fall; we conclude. Albeit, there are some who don’t fall on this category. Nita Adhikari is the one.   

Nita Adhikari

When I already shared about rising after failure, you must have been anxious about what Nita had been through. But I don't feel significant sharing it here. Why to look back at the problem, when it already found its solution? 

If you are someone close to her and reading this you already know about it, or if you are unaware what had happened, it's of no use knowing about the past now. Let's meet our new Nita who likes to call herself a "Travaventure freak" is now a girl full of life and fun. Her story of rising will definitely be an inspiration to several of us who feel life is no more than lost dreams. 

Nita had always dreamed of working as a media person. But it wasn't so easy for her with her parents who desperately wanted their daughter to be an engineer. Only she knows how hard it was for her to convince her father to pursue her study in Management and again asking them to let her work in media was like asking for trouble. 

Then, a question arises suddenly how did she dare to start her own channel?

For her, it all started with the assignment from her teacher. A significant event occurred in her life that broke down her life and dreams and at that time her teacher, Pratik Raj Neupane, who she sees as her mentor now, had been organizing counselling sessions for his students and he asked her to reflect upon her strength and passion. When she expressed she is interested on talking with new people, he asked her to go to Thamel and talk and record with any random stranger. It somewhat boosted her confidence, then she started participating in different motivational talk programs and in one of those programs she was highly influenced by one of the motivational speakers who told no one is going to take you to the place you dream for, it's you who have to prove that you are capable of reaching there and need to thrive for it. 

Nita, with her team after one of the shoots with the 
prominent figure of Nepal, Karna Shakya

Since then, those lines have become her 'guru mantra'. Then she approached her friends who could help her in camera, editing, asked help with her college video making team and geared herself to research on whom to and how to approach the guest she wants to talk to. Her first guest was renowned movie director and actor of Nepal Nischal Basnet. Until and unless he came to the location for shoot, she was in dilemma if he would come or not and if her step would turn out to be success or something more frustrating. There, he came and she launched her first show "Ramailo Guff with Nita" on YouTube on 18th of Januray, 2016 and there was no stepping back. 

She has now hundreds of supporters with her and wonderful stories to share. Amid all these, how has this dare to start her own channel shaped her is the most interesting one. With each new episode, a new learning is what she earns. She says patience is what she has been able to develop, "We prepare a lot for our single episode from research to camera to location but sometimes, even the most well known actors step back from their promise and we have to return empty hand. That nights are the most frustrating nights but I have learned not to give up and keep striving." 

Determined Nita with her enthusiastic friends is now putting all her effort to make her talk show one of the most standard talk show of Nepal. She knows reaching on to that dream is difficult but not that impossible as well. "We are creeping now but there will be the day when we would be flying and changing the Nepali Media Industry. Finance is our biggest hurdle now. We are working voluntarily till now and the question is up to when. I need to think of it as well. But then, we are so passionate about it that we would definitely figure our way out for it." shares Nita. 

When I was having this ramailo guff (joyful chat) with Nita, my final question to her was, "What has been the most cherishable moment during this journey?" 

Her answer was "it's the support of my family. I had gone against their dreams but now they are supporting me in their own little ways. In the mean time, after each episode, a sense of happiness flows in me when my guests appreciate me for my effort. I am happy these days because it's me; the real me." She adds "everyone will find their happiness only when they find themselves. We need to be just the way we are."

Nita has spread her wings for her journey of transformation and I wish her for a successful flight. 

You may watch her programs at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2ysLDZerZDRykDI_1HPNtg

Follow her program via Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ramailoguff/?fref=ts

It's TEEJ and my underpants are RED

Photo Credit: Cdn.theatlantic

 I colored my underpants red this morning.

"Happy Teej", Mother Nature wished me.

The color red is ubiquitous in Hindu culture. From small pujas (worships) to grand marriage ceremonies red is omnipresent and regarded as the color of saubhagya (fortune). All these months I have been observing all red; the dummies clad in red saris and kurtis (traditional attires of Nepali women), churis and tilharis (bangles and beads), newspapers and magazines all covered with models in red. It was a feeling of plunging in the virtual ocean of red.

From my windows I see all women dressed in bright red dresses singing and dancing colored with the emotion red, about power and courage, about purity and joy, about enthusiasm and interest. Television is showing a red mob all surging on Pashupatinath, to impress Lord Shiva and ask for the prosperity.

With red tika and some red flowers Shiva linga (Lord Shiva's penis) is being worshiped.  I wonder if his linga also ejects red; the symbol of purity and divinity. I haven't heard that yet. But the reality is I have to worship Sapta Rishi (Seven Sages) every year to plead and make them happy so that they would forgive me because my vagina ejects red every month and I may have impure the environment around me with my redness.

What an irony? What is the use of coloring the world with red two days ago when we need to apologize for our redness later?

I would have asked this with Lord Shiva today, but alas, he only meets those with red chura and sari, not the one who is effusing red. So, it's better to go to the bathroom and change my sanitary pad rather than go and ask him "Shiva, why has red different meaning for you? Can't you stick on to one either as pure or as impure?"

Juni's Journey; From Chapagaun to Germany (Story of Transformation 22)

There she stepped on her dream land...
The journey of thousand miles begins with one step. And when she was there enjoying the views from the window seat in her first ever air travel, I was reminiscing that baby step we were making four years back.

When my messenger popped up with her message sharing that she has reached Germany safely, my eyes were watery but it didn't flood (haha). I had a sense of accomplishment and I was tapping my back. It seems it nearly took a year to process her land there on her dream world. But, reflecting back, the toil started a long time ago. Here, I would like to share the part of her journey from where I met her. I hope her journey of transformation would definitely inspire others.

Though I don't have all the photos of her journey, I hope to give a glimpse of some. 

First day of our class in 2013 when we had started our class
with painting our names on stones. We wanted us to be strong and colorful
as the name on that stiff stone to project that life is hard yet we need to shine.

There, she is with her name. :)

We realized that we were poor in English vocabularies, thus we started 'words chart'
where we would write the words that we would write the difficult words with their
meanings and paste it on the wall and read it everyday.

She has always loved dancing. This was her impromptu dance that
she performed during the farewell program of Elizabeth, a volunteer teacher.
I must acknowledge her performance. :)

Her first presentation in front of the mass. We had participated in a leadership program
organized by Gen-nep, a national youth initiative where students from different schools of all over Nepal
had participated. I remember Juni really being nervous for her presentation because we were the only ones who
were representing community school and she felt her English wasn't as good as other students. This was also the first timeshe was staying outside her home for the first time. We were there for three days and when we look back participating in this event build a sort of confidence in her. 

She was always in the front whenever it would be about the environmental issue. She had also formed a club to work for the environmental protection of her village and  used to organize different awareness programs. 

With in our few months of teaching, we were aware about the psychological problems our students were going through because of various problems that was in the village. Thus with the help of psychological counselor, a friend of Seetu (my co-fellow), we organized  a training and there was Juni brainstorming the issues they are facing with her classmates.

                                                                                                                                                                                               

Juni had always loved travelling. This was shot on our short hike they received as their reward for their good performance in their class. Juni was trying to plan how they were going to share the food they had brought from home. Juni in action...haha :D

During the group activity in one of our classes.

We used to have a lot of act outs in our class. After completing a story book students used to perform in the class. This was one moment when they were acting a story.

Juni, explaining about the cube she and her group had made to
Peter, the correspondent of 'The Guardian' on Math's Exhibition at her school. The event was organized to enhance the practical skills in Math and to make the students interact with other people confidently in English.

Juni had always loved anchoring. 

Addressing her friends about her goals on the day of farewell from school. She had topped her batch.

Juni was among one of the volunteers who worked hard to bring students
 from the rural village on an educational trip to Kathmandu under 'Big Brother Big Sister' project of Teach For Nepal.

That was how she kept busy on after her SLC.
She participated in different activities.
It was just after her performance in 'Miss Indigenous Heritage Nepal'.

This was the day when we had gone for the interview of UWC.

On her journey to Germany. Her first flight. :)

With her roomies. 

With her classmates at Robert Bosch College

Belonging to a lower class family, the journey she had covered throughout is amazing. Leading an independent life has always been her dream when her family was compelled to run through the hard earned money on foreign land. With all the hard work when she has finally achieved one of her goals of studying on a good college, I wish her a very bright future ahead. What I have is the trust that she would excel in whatever she would do.  I would love to write more about her good works even in the coming days.