The Untouched Nipples (Breaking the Bracket 1)

Painted on 25th May, 2018

Slithering into the bed, she thought of all the wild fantasies that she could imagine. She made sure her well-toned collar bone emitted the fragrance of mild sandalwood. She carefully removed her mascara making sure the smokiness of her eyes was intact for those were the route to the heaven.

A gush of rosiness surrounded her cheeks as soon as she imagined the tickles the blisters of her chest would feel.
She giggled.

She then looked at her recently manicured fingers and moved them to slowly untie her beautiful curly black hair.

‘A pure beauty’, she thought.

Slowly, her smooth pedicured feet started to dance the beats of her moan.
Her beloved fingers as slowly proceeded towards her full circular bosom to run around her untouched nipples.

"The secret of a woman's beauty
lies in her nipples.
Oops!
Her untouched nipples"

She muttered.

Edifying Fascination of Death

Acrylic inspired from Dan Pearce
Painted on 24th March, 2018

I wonder how profound death can be. Looking at how it encroaches your wellbeing at the most uncertain time, I wonder how astounding it is. It feels like slowly I am falling in love with this unpredictability. I am growing a strong fascination for this sophistication. This love doesn't, in any way, mean a cumbersome challenge to death. 

Who am I?

A miniature. 

But this beauty has left me feeling vacant thousands of times. It has made me question my own existence every moment. This death has made me aware of what I really vouch for in my life. It is death that has made me realize how beautiful my life is. Its unpredictability is what makes me get out of my bed just to greet my love with a warm smile. It has made me realize how daunting it must be to live every day with the fear that you won't be able to touch your loved ones anymore. Let alone touch, you won't be able to see them. 

How you wish if there was no death you would go and ask for forgiveness that you didn't intentionally hurt her. How you wish if there was no death you would ask for one more day just to share how much you loved your partner. How you wish if there was no death you would thrive each moment to give happiness to your child. 

But then there comes death just to make you realize, "I am here, shower love with your presence."

Now, wouldn't you too fall in love with this profound death? 

Dear death,

I am falling for you. Will you be my one-sided love? 

It's a unique proposal I know but as much as I love you, I fear you too. I am in love with your invisibility as I am unsure what apocalypse you may come along with. However, until the day you won't reciprocate my love, I long to love my beloved.

Post Box 8

Painted on 25th October, 2017

To you

With the striving love,

Winter is coming. I can see the blizzard approaching. I can hear it howling wildly shaking our dry branches hard. I can feel the chilling cold when all our leaves would go dry and fall. But interestingly, like F. Scott Fitzgerald, I can also see life starting all over again when it gets crisp in the Fall.

Yes, it’s difficult to take it when the tree that you had planted with so much of love and cared with so much of passion grows dry suddenly. That too, not because you didn’t take care. However, dear, let’s look at it this way, this Fall will release the old leaves to find their way for something new.  This winter, the wind is definitely going to shake us with all its might but let us be ready to flutter with delight before we actually fall.

It’s difficult to wait for the spring to come but my dear, some moments are worth waiting for. Till then, we will keep watering our old stems, nourish our soil and make it ready for some new bearings. We will nurture it with some additional love.

If incase things turn out different, not so affluent, then we would just be those autumn leaves, who lived their life in bliss; until the moment the sun was there, enjoyed the color it had in spring and leave gracefully.

I have loved Paulo Coelho so much. In his ‘The Alchemist’, he says, “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” So, I am hopeful things will turn around better and this strive will definitely add something new to our platter.

Truly Yours

Love.

Post Box 7

Painted on 27th August, 2017

To you

With the darkest love,

“Love me as I am, not as you wish me to be”.

I happened to read this quote. It should have made me feel like I am the luckiest among all the women in this world for you have accepted me the way I am but for some reasons it made me feel sad.

I felt disappointed for the reason that I met you when I am not in my best self.  I look at myself and wonder is this the real me? So many questions keep popping up inside my head (most of them, the unnecessary ones). J Sometimes I feel how beautiful it would have been if we had been together few years back or may be few years later. I would have loved you with so much of dignity and congeniality.

Currently, when I am most of the time all lost in my darkest thoughts, I don’t feel like you deserve all these darkness in your life. When I should have been adding happiness in your life, I feel like being a burden.

But then again, my heart leaps up when I find you around. When you smile it gives me the most blissful feeling. When I shift my thoughts to you, a different emotion fills me up. You have that positive aura that nobody has.

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for showering me with your love. Thank you for giving me a reason to feel good about myself. Most of all thank you for embracing my darkest self.

I hope to get well soon and wish to love you someday with all my goodness.

Truly yours

Love.

Post Box 6

To you,

the man, I never want to lose.

Well! I am all aware about the impermanence of life. Its fragility is what makes it so precious. I know how much I try to hold you with me, some day you will be gone. I may never find you in front of me, though you will always be in my head. I guess more in my heart. Because I don't rely on this sordid brain. You know I am an emotional being. Umm! Actually, an emotional mess. Doctors have proven it. 

Looking into your eyes every day has become a schedule. It's more of like a mirror to me in which I can see my most beautiful reflection being projected. I am mean and I want them every day till the day I live. When my eyes will have those dark lobes around and my chubby cheeks will finally wrinkle, at that point too, I know it's only your eyes that will find me beautiful.

Yes, your touch is magical. A simple hug from you takes away all my pain. I don't have to mention how I feel when you kiss me. I had always believed love as a giving and giving you all my love surprisingly doesn't make me feel empty rather it's a very fulfilling feeling. 

I can never challenge death. I never will. But it's said death always bestows one special wish to everyone before it takes away the life. So, this girl who desires nothing but being with her love by her side all her life wants her death in his arms.

“Hello! Death!

If you are listening from somewhere and wish to grant me something, don't ask me just take me with you before him for losing him is what I can't afford. You know I have nothing but him.”

So, dear you! Here I acknowledge myself selfishness and ask a death for 'me before you'. And I am aware that this is my very first innate wish that I am asking for and I am still on my birthday week. So, I know it has the high chance of being fulfilled as this is going to be my last wish too.

I love you.

Yours truly

Love

Post Box 5

Painted on 16th July, 2017

To you,

With an evergreen love,

The city has turned green; green bangles, green heena and green kurtis. They say this is the month of love where green represents the growth and renewal of love. It’s so interesting when you color yourself green to turn all red in love just as the color of heena.

It’s said the darker the color, darker the love.

“Do you believe in it?”

Haha!

“May be.”

“Okay, let me come to the point.”

As you know, I don’t believe in all these rituals, heena doesn’t excite me in that sense. I don’t color my hands just to wait and see if you love me or not. I don’t ask for your long life in the bangles I wear as you know I am more on to earrings. (haha)

Albeit,

I do believe in the color of love. I do want our love to be fresh and beautiful. I do want us to grow old together. I want our love to find its own color. 

How beautiful it would be to find a new shade so that it would turn out extra ordinary in this ordinary world?

Oh! It reminds me that my small world has started to become colorful. It has all the colors in it, that too in its truest and darkest form. I swear, I haven’t mixed any chemicals. J

Happy Shrawan,

With loads of love.

Truly yours

Love

Post Box 4

x

Painted on July 1, 2017

To you,

with an imperfect love,

With this growing closeness, I guess, you must have already figured out a lot about me. I am an imperfect character; an imperfect daughter, an imperfect sister, an imperfect friend.  I am flawed when it comes to relationships.

Wait!

The list is longer.

I can’t write the words as perfect as I had thought. I can’t paint as beautiful as I had imagined. I can’t teach as perfect as I had planned. I am a messed up person with no perfect goals, no perfect destination to set for and no perfect way to present myself.

You may say these imperfections doesn’t matter to you. But, my dear, the problem is I do have an imperfect heart, which deduces that even my love is imperfect. I don’t know the perfect time to talk to you, the perfect setting to meet you, the perfect attire to wear when with you and perfect issues to talk about with you.

Sometimes, I feel even my touch is imperfect. When I look at your intoxicating eyes, I realize the imperfection of my gaze. As you can see, I have an imperfect body.

I wish I was perfect for you. I wish at least my heart was perfect for you, not because I want everything perfect but because, your presence is so perfect in my life. My imperfect heart floats all in your love in this imperfect world.

Amid these imperfections, the truth is the person whom you are growing close with is herself. She doesn’t pretend to be someone else. She doesn’t want perfection even in you. She knows these imperfections are what makes her. And embracing all these imperfections within herself, she hugs you tight.

Yes, her hug is also imperfect but dear love, I just want to share a secret, you are the only person whom she has hugged so tight with all those gushing imperfect lovable feelings.

Truly yours,

Love

Happily Climbing On...

Painted on 11th June, 201

Don’t you think living life is just like climbing a mountain?

Before we climb the mountain, though we might try to consider the weather and be prepared for the worst case, it’s the mental strength only, which drags us to reach the top. Situation may go out of hand and at that case it’s the flexibility that we allow to ourselves and the patience that we have within us will help us cope with it.

Everyone wants to reach that summit of life, which for many of us is the most accomplished position in our family, career or society where we belong to. However, when we look upon the trajectory of even the most successful people, their ultimate desire is the happiness.

We all start our life with trekking; enjoying the walk, exploring the routes and observing different people and culture. This is the stage where we know we are just in the startup phase and our goal is that summit, thus we moonwalk throughout the stage and don’t really bother on what will happen the next.

Then comes the base camp life, when you get a little excited for your achievements by far, a little nervous for the actual climb that you need to start upon and more anxious about whatever you have to go through during your stay at the camp. It’s the time when you get utmost pressure from everyone that you are already there, now you should definitely thrive to reach the top. You need to kiss the ecstatic crest. But then, it’s only you who knows how chilled you are feeling there in the camp, how you don’t want to start the climb and it’s only you who knows that you just want the warmth of that sleeping bag, which is the only support you have there. You see there are other aspiring climbers planning, some daring to succumb alone and some have porters to help them. You, there at the corner of the tent peek out and wait the change of the weather being frightened of the avalanche. Then, there at the mean time your fellow climbers from the tent groan for the unforeseen delay. You realize it’s the test of your patience.

Time to get serious arrives. It’s the time for acclimatization climb. You start adjusting with the altitude and move forward experiencing the Icefall, rejoicing the ruthless weather changes. Then you search for the supportive; harness, ascenders, ropes. You are lucky if you find one on the right time. But there are high chances you might not be able to use that because of the fierce wind blow. Avalanche, would stop your journey forever in the worst scenario.

After thriving all these unforeseen circumstances, you face the moment of truth, believe in yourself and then creep along the summit. Climbing the mountain is more mental than physical. Everyone climbs the mountain but only few can conquer it. What I can bet is that even those who reached the top, too never felt conquered.

If the ultimate goal of reaching the summit is the happiness, then why to ignore the little pleasurable moments that comes in-between the trek. Why don’t I rest a little and talk with my fellow traveler and share the experience in my basecamp rather than being too concerned about the weather forecast? How much I plan, I must have an alternative plan for the unexpected storm. So, why shouldn’t I enjoy the beauty of the climb itself?

I am in the process of climb that has difficult direction, uncertain schedules and immeasurable risks. I am climbing on and I know I will still be climbing on even ten years down the lane. But what I am mindful is when I look back and see the routes that I have travelled, I would definitely feel accomplished that I have enjoyed every bits of my journey. The happiness that others would search at the top, would be there in every footsteps that I left behind.

Happily climbing on!

Post Box 2

To you with doting love,

Should I blame this universe?

Actually, I don’t want to because finding you was the best thing universe did to me. I am green all over again. It feels as if I got life after years of dryness.

This sudden gushing wind is scaring me. The seed of love that has already turned into a beautiful ‘RED’ flower is swinging along the forceful gust. I am terrified if it can actually hold on to its stem.

Painted on 2nd June, 2017

I was aware that someday the flower, by nature had to fall. It’s a natural phenomenon. Every flower that has bloomed have to wither in Fall to bloom more darker and brighter in Spring. However, our love had bloomed in this most unexpected season, the ‘FALL’, itself. So, I had a hope that it would bloom till the spring and then bloom again as soon as it falls. But what I wasn’t prepared as a gardener was that this Fall is the most difficult time of survival. It’s the phase of transition, where a gardener has to wait a whole of another dry season, winter to see the flower blooming again in Spring.

As an immature gardener, I asked universe to turn the leaves of our love into red, orange, yellow and brown. But less was I prepared that after turning into all these colors, the leaves and flowers shed from the tree to find their own natural color ‘Green’.

How can I anticipate zephyr when, autumn is well known for its gust?

I am worried that since it bloomed in an unexpected season, we have to wait longer to see it turning into ‘Green’ again.

My heart is thudding stronger than this gust of Autumn. I am growing anxious with each passing second.

I wonder why I am going anxious on the things that aren’t in my control. I am not the one who clings onto the future and worries about the present. I was the one who used to see the struggle of my flower to survive as its most joyful moment of dancing in the beats of wind. But why am I anxious about it falling and being blown away in this dusty wind?

My heart is heavy.

A chamber of my heart stammers why I met you too late.  Another chamber blabbers, we met too early. Again, the next chamber pumping the blood in your name quips it was the only and the best time for us to be together. Interesting! My fourth chamber is numb and doesn’t know anything beyond your name.

It feels like we are meant to be together forever, while at the same time it feels like universe wants to test my patience as it has given me the most wonderful gift on earth, your presence. I know this wind will stop howling. Our plant will turn green again. But this wind. Oh! This wind, this too shall pass in another direction. Yet, I am terrified.

Blame isn’t what this universe deserves, rather I should be thankful to it as it made me realize on time that I cannot afford living without you. I didn’t have to wait till winter to know your importance. You cannot earn anything until you fight for it and thanks to universe for letting me know on time that your love is worth fighting for.

Truly yours

Love

Post Box 1

To you with immense love,

I don’t know the exact date when my love for you turned into a sapling. Actually, it’s interesting that I don’t even remember the day it got planted. Albeit, today when I see it blooming, I have a strong feeling that it must have been pollinated by the wind otherwise I wouldn’t have invested in ploughing, digging and watering my heart for something called ‘love’. I always felt it as an unnecessary labor.

Universe played its part. (I am giggling.)

Painted on 24th May, 2017

I am not sure but I have a feeling that it must have been in and around the fall when there was no hope of germination. Otherwise, I would have of course been wary about it and ran away from it if it was spring, the month of new beginnings.

Aww! Those pollens of love must have tried hard to find some humid secure base for its growth and suddenly they got placed on my barren land.

Interesting isn’t it?

Oh! No, not the timing.

But that I am loving this word ‘LOVE’.

It was a moment of awe for me when I first realized that love actually got seeded inside me. But with each passing days, when I can behold it growing with all its might my heart leaps and I don’t mind watering for its growth. I have suddenly started to become conscious of the heavy rain that might flood my cute little sprout. When the wind comes howling, I am afraid if it plucks it away from its root.

Actually, I had thought of giving it a cover from rain. I also had made up my mind to tie it with a crutch to make it stronger. But then I felt, it must go through the rain and the wind and struggle for its existence. Only then it will get the desired shape of its own. I want it to feel liberated just as I am and just as you are.

Hey, can you see that little bud blooming?

It’s wondrous.

Dark ‘RED’ it is.

That color must have been transpired right from our heart.

I know you too can hear it humming on our melancholic night.

Don’t you think it’s magical?

I smell you in it and I am sure you do smell me in it. Its soft gentle petals makes me realize your texture and I know you remember mine in its every touch.

For it has already started budding, I want it to bloom. Bloom not just red, but green, blue and yellow. Actually, I want to see it blossoming in all the colors. I want it to go dry and fall every season. I don’t want it to stay fragile with stress. Rather, I want them to fall so that it could grow fresh again.

It’s a beauty to our eyes to see the seed of love growing into a strong beautiful tree where we both can shelter in a raging storm of life so that even when it blows, we would have each other holding tight blessed with colorful flowers on each gust.

Truly yours

Love

x

Butterfly in her bellies

Painted on 10th May, 2017

IT’S ACTION…

Scene: Butterfly dancing in her bellies…

A sudden spin of that touch gently shifted from cheeks to nape… to cleavage and gently down there to the navel... (Rest depends on how far anyone can imagine J)

When she just imagines these with little bit of eroticism and more a bit of biological sexual drive, yes, butterfly definitely dances in her bellies.

AND CUT…

Now, the fantastic reel play in her mind finds an end. The reality peeps upon. She goes beyond those urge of having that wild orgasm or thinking of all those cute gestures which is feasible only on her head. Most probably, because those gestures don’t really happen in real lives. Or could be, she hasn’t been fortunate enough to receive those. And, she can’t imagine its possible now because of the extra pounds she has gained, the extra lumps on her body that she feels would irritate her partner if he touches her in the time being.

However, beyond that there's much more in life she has been fascinated about. She looks into herself every morning and gears up for her work, wearing the dress she prefers.  She roams around with her tangled hair, not caring about what others would think of. She does her work undisturbed. She roams around the city lights. She tastes the cuisine that she wants to with poor dining etiquette without shying away with the fact, what would the person sitting behind her is thinking about her.  Then, when she return home tired, she falls on her cozy bed with that wide upward curve on her lips. She feels something dancing on her bellies. They not only dance but laugh with the feeling that they have had a wonderful day and would expect the same every day.

Before she sleeps, when she embraces herself with a big hug, yeah she does realize that she has gained some extra pounds but then, she has the audacity to accept her body the way it is and the romanticism to fall in love with the freedom she enjoys.  Then, when she is slowly closing her eyes, a cute little girl inside her murmurs good night with the sweetest tone.

“Dear, you are the most precious gem, take care of yourself.”

She is in the dreamland and again there are butterfly in her bellies fluttering around and singing in the most romantic song.

Long story short, she is deeply in love with herself. For many, her status is ‘complicated’ because her love is way beyond than she can explain or they can understand.

Euphoria

I felt his eyes.

Yes, he had dark eyes and I felt that darkness. My fingers gently moved to and fro on his closed lid. I could feel his sclera and the pupil that were under those dark lids.

Caressing his eyes felt just like caressing his heart.

His hand makes big fist... his heart must be big… My heart chuckled. J

Being a demi sexual, embracing him was the best moment I could ever live.

“Is he reciprocating the same feelings?” Mini me questioned.

Answering it felt less significant as I was overpowered with the heavenly feelings that I was reliving after couple of years of solitude.

No, I wasn’t lonely as I had unbreakable love with myself but it’s also true that there was no one I could really shower my love with and care for.

“Why has he become so important?” bugged on my cute little heart.

Before I could answer this, mini me interrupted and asked again,

“Are your paths similar?

 What if he leaves you for some unconventional reasons?

What if you could never feel him again?

What if this is your last meeting with him?

What if touching you is a momentary pleasure for him?

What if….”

Poor! mini me!

Mini me stammered. I knew she was concerned. But I was more focused on feeling the grace of his hair and the fragrance that his body was emitting.

“You are losing your self. You are being conquered by him.” My mind started annoying me. 

This was an important thought that I needed to address before I progressed on to lock my lips into his. I didn’t want to get disturbed.

We lose ourselves in the things we love. But don’t we find ourselves there too? My heart dauntlessly answered.

Joie de vivre!

I felt him and it doesn’t count whether he felt the same or not. I loved him with my soul and for me it’s the purest joy I could have in my life as I found someone to love to and my mind settled; for it knew finding joy in life is the rarest thing on this planet.

Bliss!

Cymbolism 5

Painted on April 7

Who are we?

No-one but a silhouette trying to brighten.

What are we?

Nothing but a being trying to enlighten. 

Colorful the world maybe,

we are in our darkest blues.

Let us reveal ourselves

within our own hues. 

Cymbolism 4

Painted on April 1

Hey! You Quirky little creature, 

hiding behind those bushes, 

did you hear us saying 

that we liked your place?

Cymbolism 3

Painted on March 31

A free soul we are: 

random, free souls;

random, free souls, 

eager to explore; 

release, relax and reflect life as a whole,

sometimes bitter and sometimes extremely sweet, 

our teas and coffees be

the beauty is we choose to remain in-between. 

Cymbolism 2

Painted on March 30

Let her swing

in her emotional string

Up in the gushing wind

she will find

the purpose of her life, 

and her reason to thrive. 

Cymbolism 1

Painted on 27th March, 2017

Ode to those encroached lips, 

Compassion for the vulnerabilities

One day they will be penalized

for the stolen strawberries.