A girl who dreams of being a police officer (Story of Transformation 8)

From Left to Right ; Anita Tamang, Anita's aunt, Prakriti Nepal from Samaanta Foundation

We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today, Stacia Taushcer rightly said this. I am being able to decode the meaning of this radical quote when I got an opportunity to meet Anita. It has been half a decade that I am working everything I can do from my side for the right of children. Working for them has a value in my life. They bring the joy in my life. Their smile has that magical influence on me. I can't stop smiling when I see them playing. But somewhere, I had the opinion within me; children are so tender; they need a voice of another to be heard. They need someone to speak for them. This conventional mindset got kicked and now will never dare return when after I met Anita.

Anita is a new Fellow of Samaanta Foundation. She is the lucky one among so many recent SLC graduates. Now, she will be getting the opportunity of being guided under the mentorship of Samaanta Foundation. Sorry to use the word 'lucky', but more than luck she deserved it. Recently, I got an opportunity to sit in the interview session of some selected fellows and was able to listen all of their stories. Here, when I am sharing Anita's story, everyone can surely guess, her story stood out.

16 years old Anita so proudly and with confidence shares, "I want to be the watchdog of my country. I want to be a police officer. I have seen people fighting. I have seen people doing crimes. So, I want to change that being a police officer." Her aim of being a police officer was the first thing that struck my mind. She is not the one who follows the trend. She dreams her own and her dream seems so well on her when she says that with her head held high and with a smile on her face; that smile that hides so much of her grief and sorrow deep inside her.

Few years back, when her mother died, her father not only brought a step mother for her but also a whole lot of sufferings in her life along with her. She would have been most probably tolerated that all if she was only given the chance to go to school. Alas, her dream shattered. With no one there to voice for her, she thought she needed to do it by herself; something for her and fled from her village Nuwakot to Kathmandu, the capital city just with the hope that she would anyhow continue her study. You can imagine how much strength that eighth grader needed to choose such a step which even had no guaranteed positive outcome.

Capital city dwellers have their own problems and the problem is even worse for them who have to grind themselves in this city just to solve the hand to mouth problem. Anita had to go through the same worse when she landed to her Aunt's house at Kathmandu with her dream. Anita's aunt, a house maid had her own two daughters and Anita was her added responsibility. So, again going to school remained just a beautiful dream for her. But this dream didn't let Anita sleep, she was so determined that she also started working as a house maid with her aunt for the survival and after one year of gap, she joined a community school at Lubhu in grade nine.

We can guess how would a person respond when their dream is fulfilled; her happiness had no limits and she never turned back. She stood as a topper in her school, also passing her school leaving certificate with 74%, which is taken as a dream percentage for many community school students. She says, "I want to study hard and be a police officer as I have seen so much crime at Nuwakot and illiteracy is so prevalent there that people don't understand how they can live together without fighting. So, I will return to my village after I become a police officer and work there."

While she was sharing all her struggle with a huge strength and boldness within her, her proud teacher Rojee Maharjan had a wide grin on her face. After all, who wouldn't be proud to be a mentor of such a strong child whom you can clearly see as a rising leader? Rojee shares, "Anita is a very determined girl. She is ready to do whatever it takes to learn anything new. She has hidden talents. The shy girl in the classroom spoke so confidently in front of everyone now and this shows how she can flourish when she gets any opportunities."

Hearing her, I was not only sure that nothing is going to stop Anita from being a leader but got inspired from her. Paulo's saying becomes right on Anita's life; "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." Samaanta's Fellowship is going to be a milestone in her dream. She will be getting two years of scholarship and mentorship as a fellow to continue her academic and career goals. I can't wait to see confident, bold and beautiful Anita dressed up and ready to serve as a police officer. 

Joining the pieces

There were some moments

difficult to deal

there were times

the heart was sealed

Drop by drop

emotions spilled

giving the ache

like the whole body is drilled

It felt as if

every parts has rotten and started to stink

every color turned black

whether it's blue, red or pink

Left me trodden,

with my life sinked

I drowned,

in a blink

seconds, minutes and hours

when the clock ticked

slowly, slowly

I again found my heart beat

Going deep into the river of blood

I started to rise bit by bit

With the course of time,

I got my wound healed. 

Cupid then and now

THEN

It seems just a few days ago,

she was on my dreams oh! oh! oh!

Her breath taking eyes,

which if accidentally collided with mine 

I used to feel

as if the world is under my heels

Her laughter

on her friend's chatter 

would kill me,

as if I am cut by a sharp knife

"Yes, she is my life"

I used to say inside.

But, never being able to express

also not being able to suppress

those feelings would just burst out

and my pals would shout,

I still remember them teasing

turning me black and blue

but I just lied silent as I was afraid

what she would do.

NOW,

I see her eyes still beautiful

but has no effect on mine

I ask myself

How did I fall for it then?

Now when she laughs

even on my talk

I don't get stuck

She is still the same.

"No, no quite thinner then"

I judge her

but my friends ungrave my heart

they have a new joke to start

And this time I convince

with smile

I am single and I can't do anything

as she has husband on her side. 

The tale of a Pretty woman

Each day she smiles
passing the nights
with tears on her eyes.

No one knows
what she is going through,
how much her life has screwed.

She wakes up each morning
turning the gears for a new journey
puts on her beautiful dress
covers her dark circled eyes revealing her stress

None of them has ever asked her
how much she has to suffer,
she has rightly fooled every one
with her concealer, mascara, foundation and the makeover

Oh! she is so perfect on covering up!

No, she is not.

They hadn't properly looked at her.
Otherwise, for sure,
they would have seen
her flickering eyeballs
had already stopped dancing.
The smile she paints on her face
is filled with numbness

They gaze
but annihilate
her gossamer heart
that has already cracked

And she never says
how painfully she pretends
hiding her pain
she knows showing it
has no benefit
her pain would better heal unseen. 

I am....

I am the darkness

I am also the light

My soul has peacefulness

sometimes it even does fight

I am the perfection

I am also the error

If I can be your company in need,

I too can take revenge if you mistreat

This is who I am;

a real me,

sweet, humble at times rude

I can be your bad enemy or your best dude

I smile, I cry

I can't change my real me

so you dare not try,

accept me the way I am,

care me even when I am dry

I will be there for you

till my last breath

but, let me be me;  myself. 

Haunted Self

Fear has taken its full shape now,
it feels like there is no way to figure out.
This hasn't let me sleep
when I am awake, it influences deep.

I would have of course solved it,
at least if I had any hint
but the situation has gone worse
as I have the fear of some unknown

The more I try to forfeit
it grips me so tight.
My days has become scary
later turns into a haunting night

If only, I had known the reason
I would have mend my condition
Being affected by this unknown phobia
I have started hating myself
for not being able to enrich my inner pelf

You don't know how much I wish
to be able
to tackle
this emotional hurdle

After the quake she found she has the power with her (Back to school Story)

I was worried to go back to school, not because I was afraid of the earthquake, not because now on wards I would have been teaching under the tents. I was worried with the fact that many of my students have lost their homes because of the earthquake and those whose houses haven't collapsed, also have seen the cracks in their houses they are living in. Many of my children are still living under tents.

I was learning and planning every word that I would say to them when I would meet them after the school resumes.

I was researching on how I can help them, taking different training. In short, I left no stones unturned 

Will they come to school?  This was another question that was haunting me.

May 31st, the school resumed. I reached my school. I was counting them one by one. Is everyone coming or not? Gradually, I could see them coming with a big smile on their face. They were happy to be back at school. Though still some of them were missing, most of my kids showed up. I was excited as the number had exceeded my expectation.

After few minutes the scenario of the ground changed. We had all of our students from nursery to grade ten on the ground under a big tarpaulin. Children were happy meeting their friends after a long gap. Though some of them were still afraid of the quake, they seemed excited to share their earthquake tales. Some of them made fun of the quake moments with their innocent caricatures.

Amid all these, one of my eighth grader came towards me and shared her realizations that nowadays she reads more books and tries to find out the reason of earthquake, the structure of the earth. By now, she has been able to find out that earthquake doesn't harm us but the infrastructures. She, with a deep sigh shard we, humans have made our houses without following the guidelines, so we had to face the problem and added she is researching on the proper way of building houses.

Then what she shared really made me thank the earthquake, though I don't want even any aftershocks again. She, then held my hand and told, "Miss, this earthquake made me realize that Gods don't have any power. We shouldn't believe in God but we should believe in ourselves. If God was powerful, then he would have of course saved His house from being collapsed. He neither saved His own house nor ours. But many people came to help us in our problem."

Listening to her realizations and her findings thrilled me. Please don't take me negative here. Historical monuments were our privileges and the destruction has made me sad. They were the treasures of our nation. Here, what really has touched me is the realization of my child; that child who used to pray each time to God for her results. I could see her going to temple every morning before going to give her exams, even at the day of results and in every other minor incident. She is really good at her studies but whenever I would congratulate her on her hard work and success, she used to give all the credit to God and luck.

Shouldn't I be happy now? Shouldn't I thank the quake when I had been trying to make her realize the same for last two years? Finally she realized it wasn't the power of God that was helping her but it the power that was within her that she was being able to put her effort on her studies and was being able to bring good results.

The disaster gave us sorrow but it also gave us lessons and new perspectives in life. We looked at the negatives, but now let's think about the positives that it has given. As far as my realization, I learnt children are in trauma but amid their fear they also have learned some positive life lessons. We must tend those sprouting lessons. Let's not miss finding out what they have learnt.