Sunday, April 30, 2017

Cherishing those little Changes (Story of Transformation 30)

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it changed into butterfly.”

Yes, it’s a pretty cool saying; often used, when one thinks of motivating others. But the journey of change from a larva to a butterfly is slow, extremely slow.

How many of us actually have time to observe the gradual change and cherish that each small changes that the ugly caterpillar goes through until she becomes a butterfly?

It's rare.

My analogy of butterfly mayn't be extremely relevant here, however I feel my journey as a mentor at King’s college has made me realize that change is a gradual phenomenon. Yes, we must aspire big, but in the urge of reaching the destination, we mustn't forget to cherish little moments of change that we see on our journey.

My journey of mentorship is six months long but the program, is already a year old now. However, Sagar Satyal, the ferryman of this program sometimes doubts the work he does and keeps on questioning if he has been able to bring some meaningful changes in his mentees’ lives. I, too keep on doubting if I am being able to add value in the program or not? Am I being able to help them the way they are in need of? But then, we try to divert our doubt into energy and spend meaningful hours planning the sessions.

I understand, we need to work even harder but the idea is I don’t want to forget all those effort that we have made up to now. Before we pull ourselves up for our new batch, I want to cherish the changes we have been able to bring in this one year of our experimental teaching learning process. Out of our 54 mentees, 12 of them share one change mentorship program has brought in their lives.

  1.  Aashish Dev: “There are many ways in which mentorship program has made an impact for me both directly and indirectly, consciously and subconsciously. But one thing that stands out of all these is the change in my attitude. I have developed an attitude of prioritization of things and management of time. I am more compassionate with an urge to stand out of the crowd. To be more adventurous, meet and talk to new people, try new things. The attitude of being more productive and more responsible.”
  2. Amrit Paudel: “I learned to be aware of the situations. I learned that before approaching to people, we need to be aware of the situation as some other people may not be on the same page as we are. ”
  3. Aprajita Jha:  “It has developed in me a curiosity to learn more about myself and those around me.”
  4. Bidushree Shrestha:” In mentorship I learned, that much needed help for us is within us, no one can help until we let ourselves free from the negatives. When we are lost and confused about the past and the future, we forget the greatest gift of all; the present. We wouldn't know the lost present until it becomes a past. Sagar sir, helped us foresee what we are losing and it's not that late to feel it. And the little things we often forget, like our own body, people around us. Bhawana ma'am for teaching us the importance of self-love. It's a platform for sharing thoughts and stories without fearing being judged. Mentorship is like a friend that listens to you, makes you realize you are worthy of things you have been stopping yourself from and teaches you important stuff of living life which we forget while growing up or never have been told before.”
  5. Deepika Basnet: “Mentorship has helped me to become a better human. I feel less judgmental. I don’t judge people on the basis of their looks or through first impression. Also, I feel like I am able to socialize more. ”
  6. Dipesh Tuladhar:  “One major change was that I made a habit of replying emails. However, sometimes, I still forget to answer them on time, but I always answer them as it’s better late than never. Another significant change would be taking other’s time seriously. I learned this when I showed up late in one of the sessions and had to see Sagar dai’s angry face. Fortunately, I didn’t find irritation in his voice. This also meant that we need to keep our anger at bay and channel it elsewhere”
  7. Ravi Shankar Shah: “It has helped me become mindful about everything I do. I know now whether I am doing anything or just relaxing. Hence, no regrets.”
  8. Shebu Khar:  “For me, it’s adjusting and adapting with new people. Listening, being open and putting aside my perspective to listen to what other people have to say.”
  9. Shraddha Mishra:  “Mentorship was a life changing phase of my life. I needed that platform where I could find myself and my ability, my strength and my weaknesses. I tried my best to gain something from mentorship and I actually did it.” 

  10. Shrill Shrestha: “Mentorship, for me, has been an opportunity to know myself and explore. I can see myself different from what I used to be. For not shy, but an introvert, I have seen mentorship session as a place where I am understood with my flaws and strength. I have learned to see my days in a new dimension. For instance, I am now able to talk with people bringing up topics on my own, which otherwise was so hard back then. I came to know, I am the master of myself and I can't be wrong about myself when I am just being in conversation with people with my opinions. I know there is still more to go and my attitude says I can do it.”
  11. Prajwol Wagle: “Mentorship. Yeah, I found myself in here. This is why I always pass around saying, ‘Mentorhsip is my second home.’ I have explored after I left this place, however, I do fly back-and-forth. It makes me feel alive- it always did.”
  12. Suzzeet Shrestha: “My motive for coming to the mentorship session was business development, contacts, lessons for my goal achievement, growth and extension. As the sessions went on I realized it was nothing like that. We had no business tips or any mantras like six steps to expanding business or making more money. It was like a myth buster for me as it was far beyond what I had expected. It exceeded the materialistic stuffs and connected myself to me; i.e. my body, my soul and my mind. The change that this program has brought in me is the realization that how expansive we are and how simple inner transformations in us can lead to peacefulness, ultimately reflecting in all the other materialistic stuffs we do or want to achieve. Internal peace = External Contentment” 
There’s a beauty in every little change. And we hope to continue cherishing these little changes. To conclude, I would borrow the words of one our mentees’ Srajesh Tuladhar on what he has learned from mentorship,“learning is a gradual process, there's no magic trick or short cut, you have to learn about yourself and plan accordingly.”

Monday, April 24, 2017

Euphoria


I felt his eyes.
Yes, he had dark eyes and I felt that darkness. My fingers gently moved to and fro on his closed lid. I could feel his sclera and the pupil that were under those dark lids.
Caressing his eyes felt just like caressing his heart.

His hand makes big fist... his heart must be big… My heart chuckled. J

Being a demi sexual, embracing him was the best moment I could ever live.

“Is he reciprocating the same feelings?” Mini me questioned.

Answering it felt less significant as I was overpowered with the heavenly feelings that I was reliving after couple of years of solitude.

No, I wasn’t lonely as I had unbreakable love with myself but it’s also true that there was no one I could really shower my love with and care for.

“Why has he become so important?” bugged on my cute little heart.

Before I could answer this, mini me interrupted and asked again,
“Are your paths similar?
 What if he leaves you for some unconventional reasons?
What if you could never feel him again?
What if this is your last meeting with him?
What if touching you is a momentary pleasure for him?
What if….”

Poor! mini me!

Mini me stammered. I knew she was concerned. But I was more focused on feeling the grace of his hair and the fragrance that his body was emitting.

“You are losing your self. You are being conquered by him.” My mind started annoying me. 

This was an important thought that I needed to address before I progressed on to lock my lips into his. I didn’t want to get disturbed.

We lose ourselves in the things we love. But don’t we find ourselves there too? My heart dauntlessly answered.

Joie de vivre!

I felt him and it doesn’t count whether he felt the same or not. I loved him with my soul and for me it’s the purest joy I could have in my life as I found someone to love to and my mind settled; for it knew finding joy in life is the rarest thing on this planet.

Bliss!

Friday, April 7, 2017

Cymbolism 5

Painted on April 7
Who are we?
No-one but a silhouette trying to brighten.
What are we?
Nothing but a being trying to enlighten. 
Colorful the world maybe,
we are in our darkest blues.
Let us reveal ourselves
within our own hues. 

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Cymbolism 4

Painted on April 1
Hey! You Quirky little creature, 
hiding behind those bushes, 
did you hear us saying 
that we liked your place?