Truth or Dare

Background: Sunday Morning 14th September 2014 , at 10:30 am, it's Children's day so every one is busy for the program that is going to be held after some hours. I am at grade seven and children urged to play. I gave them the permission. They started playing one of the famous games 'Truth or Dare'. I am their audience and am laughing on all their silly questions to find out their friends' truth and then their funny daring acts. After sometime I become quite nostalgic as I also used to play that game with my friends at high school. Then…

Monologue:

What if we had the option to choose between truths or dare in our life just as the Christmas game, in which the players are given the choice between answering truthfully or performing a 'dare'? Of course we would choose the one which we would feel easy. Some of us may be habituated to face the reality of life that's why we may choose the truth while some of us who love adventure in our life may choose the 'dare'. But have we ever thought of the situation where we can neither run away from the reality nor can stop exhibiting our dare? How would we deal with that? Can we smile when we are enclosed in a pool of tragedy?

We all have certain degree of warped reality. There are certain things in our life that we either don't want to face the reality or sometimes we even don't know that we are not seeing the reality. Whatever the case may be but both of them lead us to the path of denial; the denial from daring; the denial from facing the truth or reality. This eventually makes us weak emotionally as well as physically. Ultimately we have to be prone to another reality and suffer much more.

On the other hand, if we face the reality, we may no longer be the victim of life rather a volunteer.  Most changes that we want to see in our life come just simply by facing the reality. I don't agree with Shakespeare when he says "Lack of knowledge is source of happiness", as when we are away from the reality our happiness is just a fake illusion. When the illusion breaks, we again have to suffer. So, it's better if we set our mind to search the knowledge or the truth soon and then dare to face it so that we can change the context.

We run away from the truth thinking that it may perpetuate problem but the paradox is when we are able to see the truth then only we are able to search for the solutions. It's well said that life is itself a truth and dare game where truth is to keep on daring. While saying all these lines too and even finding out the reality sometimes we fail to dare for change as our truth comes so big that our courage to dare vanishes from our life. We may feel that it's easy to say but really very difficult to face the situation. But it also doesn't mean that we can't do it. There are many instances where one has faced the truth and chose dare and has ultimately succeed to bring the change that they desire for.

When saying all these things sometimes even I fail to dare when I chose to explore the truth but yes, there are some hands beside me who always encourage me to dare and face the reality. So may be everyone can find those hands if they really want to strive for the courage to face the truth. Let's be honest to ourselves and play the truth and dare game of life where the only rule would be to find out the truth and then dare to face it for the positive change.

(Bell rings)

Science of 'Puppy Love'

How many of you believe that true love can actually happen in school? If the question is raised for me I would look for the couple who were in touch even after at school and  yes of course did they marry with each other or not? And I know most of us do that linking the love with marriage. Eventually we will find that the cutest 'LOVE BIRDS' of schools are no more in a relationship and by now are happily married with some another person and when asked to them the reason of it, the predictable answer (which 99% gets right) is that it was just a 'crush' or "we were kids then".  Thus our mathematical calculations wouldn't eat our brain as we can simply count the school couple turned married couples in our fingers. It's exception that some may even have to use their toes but I bet more than that you don't have to use any other means. Eventually we commonly give the answer "NO, we actually don't believe that true love can actually happen in school."

"This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,

May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." (Romeo and Juliet)

But somewhere down the road, what a contrast, we give the example of Romeo and Juliet as true lovers who also were teens. We, those who say that good relationships take years to build, at the other hand love the very tale where Romeo who is seventeen met Juliet, only thirteen years aged girl two hours before they decided to get married. 

Oh! Oh! if you are thinking that I am writing a critical analysis of 'Romeo and Juliet', then I am sorry you are mistaken. But yes of course I am here talking about the teen age love which actually blooms at school. Shall we give them the right to love each other or not? Shall we forbid them? The question may arise and yes, of course when you are working as a their teacher or their mentor this question may really be a big headache. 

Today I actually realized that who are we to simply tell them you should love your classmate or not you should just take him/her as just your friend? Do you as a person really know by when we are going to fall in love? or, just simply saying when is the actual time to fall in love?

Falling in love at teen age is normal. It's because of the hormones and even science has proved it. According to Orlando Science Center during the initial stages of love, a teen's body is flooded with testosterone and estrogen; in the second stage of love, teen may experience an increase in hormones like dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine and during the last stage of love, teen's oxytocin and vasopressin levels increase. Yes, of course the benefit of these hormones are they make them energetic, give them a feeling of newness and excitement which also helps them in the bonding with other friends.

We all know that loving and being loved adds richness to our lives. We become happier and even healthier with it. But somewhere we start assuming that falling in love is a crime and we try to forbid them and here I think that we are making mistake as when we do it, they chose a wrong path for it. 

Recently I happened to read a 'LOVE LETTER' written by one of my students. It was so poetic and lyrical. I had never known that he could write so much beautifully. He could arrange the words and structures in such a brilliant way like a professional writer. The letter had so much of care and love for his beloved and he had raised so simple but caring questions in such an awesome manner, I was enthralled with it. When I was reading the letter I felt that if I had ever dared to write such love letter during my teen age I would surely had become a great poet by now.  But at the same time being a teacher I thought should I allow him to send the letter to whom it is concerned or not? Should I give him the authority to write even more letters to her? Well even if I gave the authority what would other teachers think about me? They would blame me for letting them free. So many questions were on my mind. 

Today, on one of my classes I finished the class quite early and my children made me tell a story for them and the first option that came in my mind was the story was the same story 'Romeo and Juliet'. Then, I realized I too should be forbidden to share such types of stories to my children if they are to be forbidden to express their feelings for their loved ones. Really who are we to control their feelings? 

Yes, I too agree that as a responsible guardian we want to postpone the dating year of our teen aged children as it has various disadvantages if they aren't able to manage the issues that are going with them; but at the same time I believe that before scolding them for doing what they have done it's also important to understand the science of love. Professor Arthur Aron form State University of New York says that falling in love creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion. 

Yeah, it's a risky business where our child may suffer from the very first terrible heart break but as a parent we can discuss the benefits of finding the balance in our relationship if we find our child being too involved or obsessed in it. Communicating clearly in every issue is important is much better than scolding without understanding. The most important one in my opinion would be reminding them their goals of life that they have set for them. Being firm is important but it should have fairness. 

Love helps us feel important, understood and secure and our teens too have the right for it. Sometimes we just ignore their feelings terming it as the 'puppy love' but may be the same puppy love could really bring a magic in our teens. How much we forbid our teenagers from falling in love ; we can't dismiss their feeling of love, can we? So it's better to manage their feelings rather than forbidding it; we never know may be their first teen age love will be their perfect 'soul mate'. 

Story of Takloo by my kids...

It seemed that we had recently celebrated the 'International Literacy Day of 2013' with the playful act of 'Paplu', we got 'Takloo' as the next wonderful character to play for this years literacy day. As they had acted the Paplu for the whole year when they felt bored, when they were in the mood of acting, when someone would ask them to showcase their talent and in various occassions, so this year when I told my grade seven students that I had a new story for them for this year's international literacy day, they were really very excited.

'Takloo, the salt seller' a very enjoyable and easy to understand story which my whole class performed on the literacy day. When I finished reading it loud for them, for some time every students longed to play the character of Takloo and finally they decided that as per the character they want someone who is the smallest in the class. So they chose 'Pawan' who was the smallest among all. And then they selected other characters. They were so excited that they managed different materials all by themselves and within a week, they were ready to perform in front of students of grade eight.

On the performance day, I was really delighted to see all the props ready; a wooden house, small hut of Takloo's family, paper pots and all. They had listened and understood the story so well that they managed every bit so minutely. I felt that this year they have grown more mature and more efficient when they performed the whole act.

Whole team after the performance

Takloo's Family

Owner of the pot shop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y46x7hVca-c&feature=youtu.be (video of the whole act)

Night from terrace..

I was on the terrace

searching something beautiful to gaze

I Looked around

and found

every one busy

making the night noisy

Buses moving around

Bikes buzzing around

Peddlars strolling around

I thought for a while

have they got the happiness unbound?

my eyes stucked in a skyscraper

Shining like a fire cracker

Was anyone noticing that?

"Of course not" I felt

It's looks beautiful only from distant

I raised my head just a little

Gazing someone who slightly twinkled

It took me time to realize

It was the moon

Playing peek a boo without any noise

I could see the growing night

along with the glowing light

I am still on the terrace

and I am gazing the moon, changing its phase.

In search of a brother

Picture by Jason Edmiston

I saw a child

With scratch in his face and voice so mild

Passing through the secluded path

Searching in with gentle wrath

Looking at his body

So lean and thin

I thought to go and ask

Actually what was his task?

With his hollow eyes

And an innocent disguise

He replied," I am searching for my brother-

Who left me with an other."

I opined to help him

To search his brother and get him

I asked how his brother looked.

He simply said, "He is calm and good."

He then added I have never seen

How he looked and how has he been

People say he is no more

That's why every one is facing torture.

We searched him day and night

In the sea shore and even in the traffic sight

It has been years we are still in search

We hope that some day he will surely emerge

His brother if comes in your door

Don't let him go.

Oh, sorry I forgot to share his name

He is 'Peace', a brother who can stop the world's war game.

Embracing her...

I never had the dream of becoming a doctor in my life; but today when she was crying with pain, I regretted for not opting the profession as the incident that happened today made me helpless on the situations what was going in front of me. 

Our school had just started and it was the time of meditation. When the environment was so peaceful suddenly I heard Seetu calling me and found that one of the students of her class was shivering and was crying for help. She was not being able to breath. Both of us took her out of the class and led her to the staff room. Both of us had little idea about what to do. We started helping her to breath putting our hands on her chest and asking her to breathe patiently but it was not working. She had started to lost her senses. Her hands had started to become cold and suddenly she crept so bitterly raising her hands and saying that she is having an unbearable pain in both her hands and her heart. Now, it was too difficult for us. We rubbed her hands, feet and her head. We did what ever we could but her condition was not getting better. Surbir sir was ready with his bike to take her to the health post. We had to take her out of the staff room and led her to the health post. Seetu and I carried her and took her on the highway. We were so nervous that we had forgotten to put on our shoes. On the same mode, I helped her sit in the bike and then held her and went to the hospital. 

By the time, we reached the hospital, her condition had gone more worse. This had made me more nervous. I took her into the emergency room and in a moment four health workers surrounded her, some putting the mask in her nose, some taking her blood and others I don't remember. I was there standing beside the bed holding her hands which had now become much colder than before. I wasn't being able to think and then suddenly I didn't believe my ears when he said to stop shivering and behaving like that otherwise he would put a pipe in her vagina. 

Why did he say so? Was it necessary? I didn't want to judge it. Was it necessary to threaten her in such circumstance? I didn't know may be it was the word what she needed at that time. The doctor repeated the same phrase time and again. After few minutes she started to breathe normally and it gave me a little hope. Then doctor told me to go out of the room. I went outside but was still listening what they were saying. They were saying that she had some psychological issues. She may be going through some stress and had problem in breathing. After a while the doctor came and told the same thing to me that I had already overheard. Suddenly I heard her crying bitterly expressing all her sorrows about her fear, about her study, friends and family. 

I just embraced her and wiped the constant downpour from her eyes. At that time I remembered my mom, how she used to embrace me when I used to be sick. I missed her a lot. After some time the doctor discharged her just saying that she needs to take rest and should be free from any kind of stress. After sometime Ramesh sir came to take us and we returned to the school. 

The incident left me with lot of questions and realizations as well. Though the incident was terrifying at first but later I remembered Shisir dai saying two years fellowship is not long; one year is not enough to bring change. Yes, it's true. If we had worked only for one year we would only be able to know the context but we would never be able to see the change that our children are going through; their change in attitude, behavior, psyche. It's so difficult to understand what a child is thinking at the moment, what he or she is going through, how he is changing his behavior and all the other positive and negative changes. 

Working with them has now made me know the way they change and think but has left me with so many questions. I want them to be answered. Now I want to learn more about it. With in these months I already had grown the desire of learning about the educational psychology; how the children grow and learn and today when I was embracing her my thirst of learning on this issue enhanced even more. 

Freedom; not to be tossed

He: I can't continue my relationship with you

She: Why?

He: Because I don't have any future and I know you deserve the best.

She: But I know we can have the best, if we make it together. 

He: No, but I don't think so.

She: What shall I do now, my parents have found a guy for me to marry. I want to to married with you. 

He: It's your choice. If you think the guy is good, you may marry otherwise continue doing your stuff. You may find someone better if you wait. 

She: I don't have much time. I need to decide it now. 

He: Then, it's simple. Just toss a coin. 

Tossing a coin! Rubbish! How easy our life would be if we could decide anything simply by tossing a coin. 'Heads' 'Yes' I can marry you. 'Oh, tails sorry I can't'. One of my friends (girl) shared the above conversation which she had with her boyfriend, and she was sharing all in direct speech, exactly how it had happened and with expressions. While listening her, I was wondering what do boy think of us and how should we react upon that context. 

But storing that question in one corner of my mind, I started thinking the answer of another question. What is the thing that we want in our life? Love, money, power, entertainment,....The list is long. But what we exactly want? The question may be really ambiguous to answer. The most difficult part is even google search doesn't work here. I shared my query with her and with a faint smile and a bit of bitterness in her heart (which I could she in her face), she replied,"Shall we toss for this also?"

I had this conversation with my friend one year back and by now has already decided what to do with her life but still strolling to find the answer of what exactly she wants in her life. So, this is a never ending question which we would always want to find the answer of. 

Today, I felt like in some sense I found the answer. I had prepared for the lesson yesterday but had never thought in the sense I taught today. I had to teach the poem 'Exile' written by Alan Duff, to my grade ten students. I had planned that I would say giving the example of the speaker tiger, the poet is expressing how one feels when he/she is away from the homeland. Everything was going smooth. I was asking the rhetorical questions to them and getting the answers as per the plan. But with those answers I found mine answer as well. 

Like the tiger, I don't want the easy meat. I want to struggle for what I get. I cherish my toil. I don't want to drink the water of the mud less pool just running after the money. I love myself very much. I want to hunt myself and eat.  I love my freedom like the tiger.  I don't want to be exiled from my freedom. Now I can say my friend, we don't need to toss to take any decision rather we can analyse whether we can have freedom to decide ourselves or not; whether our decision will bar our freedom or not. Whichever side the coin faces, freedom should be there.

(Answer may not be applicable to anyone but to me; being selfish once again)