He: I can't continue my relationship with you
She: Why?
He: Because I don't have any future and I know you deserve the best.
She: But I know we can have the best, if we make it together.
He: No, but I don't think so.
She: What shall I do now, my parents have found a guy for me to marry. I want to to married with you.
He: It's your choice. If you think the guy is good, you may marry otherwise continue doing your stuff. You may find someone better if you wait.
She: I don't have much time. I need to decide it now.
He: Then, it's simple. Just toss a coin.
Tossing a coin! Rubbish! How easy our life would be if we could decide anything simply by tossing a coin. 'Heads' 'Yes' I can marry you. 'Oh, tails sorry I can't'. One of my friends (girl) shared the above conversation which she had with her boyfriend, and she was sharing all in direct speech, exactly how it had happened and with expressions. While listening her, I was wondering what do boy think of us and how should we react upon that context.
But storing that question in one corner of my mind, I started thinking the answer of another question. What is the thing that we want in our life? Love, money, power, entertainment,....The list is long. But what we exactly want? The question may be really ambiguous to answer. The most difficult part is even google search doesn't work here. I shared my query with her and with a faint smile and a bit of bitterness in her heart (which I could she in her face), she replied,"Shall we toss for this also?"
I had this conversation with my friend one year back and by now has already decided what to do with her life but still strolling to find the answer of what exactly she wants in her life. So, this is a never ending question which we would always want to find the answer of.
Today, I felt like in some sense I found the answer. I had prepared for the lesson yesterday but had never thought in the sense I taught today. I had to teach the poem 'Exile' written by Alan Duff, to my grade ten students. I had planned that I would say giving the example of the speaker tiger, the poet is expressing how one feels when he/she is away from the homeland. Everything was going smooth. I was asking the rhetorical questions to them and getting the answers as per the plan. But with those answers I found mine answer as well.
Like the tiger, I don't want the easy meat. I want to struggle for what I get. I cherish my toil. I don't want to drink the water of the mud less pool just running after the money. I love myself very much. I want to hunt myself and eat. I love my freedom like the tiger. I don't want to be exiled from my freedom. Now I can say my friend, we don't need to toss to take any decision rather we can analyse whether we can have freedom to decide ourselves or not; whether our decision will bar our freedom or not. Whichever side the coin faces, freedom should be there.
(Answer may not be applicable to anyone but to me; being selfish once again)
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