How many of you believe that true love can actually happen in school? If the question is raised for me I would look for the couple who were in touch even after at school and yes of course did they marry with each other or not? And I know most of us do that linking the love with marriage. Eventually we will find that the cutest 'LOVE BIRDS' of schools are no more in a relationship and by now are happily married with some another person and when asked to them the reason of it, the predictable answer (which 99% gets right) is that it was just a 'crush' or "we were kids then". Thus our mathematical calculations wouldn't eat our brain as we can simply count the school couple turned married couples in our fingers. It's exception that some may even have to use their toes but I bet more than that you don't have to use any other means. Eventually we commonly give the answer "NO, we actually don't believe that true love can actually happen in school."
"This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." (Romeo and Juliet)
But somewhere down the road, what a contrast, we give the example of Romeo and Juliet as true lovers who also were teens. We, those who say that good relationships take years to build, at the other hand love the very tale where Romeo who is seventeen met Juliet, only thirteen years aged girl two hours before they decided to get married.
Oh! Oh! if you are thinking that I am writing a critical analysis of 'Romeo and Juliet', then I am sorry you are mistaken. But yes of course I am here talking about the teen age love which actually blooms at school. Shall we give them the right to love each other or not? Shall we forbid them? The question may arise and yes, of course when you are working as a their teacher or their mentor this question may really be a big headache.
Today I actually realized that who are we to simply tell them you should love your classmate or not you should just take him/her as just your friend? Do you as a person really know by when we are going to fall in love? or, just simply saying when is the actual time to fall in love?
Falling in love at teen age is normal. It's because of the hormones and even science has proved it. According to Orlando Science Center during the initial stages of love, a teen's body is flooded with testosterone and estrogen; in the second stage of love, teen may experience an increase in hormones like dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine and during the last stage of love, teen's oxytocin and vasopressin levels increase. Yes, of course the benefit of these hormones are they make them energetic, give them a feeling of newness and excitement which also helps them in the bonding with other friends.
We all know that loving and being loved adds richness to our lives. We become happier and even healthier with it. But somewhere we start assuming that falling in love is a crime and we try to forbid them and here I think that we are making mistake as when we do it, they chose a wrong path for it.
Recently I happened to read a 'LOVE LETTER' written by one of my students. It was so poetic and lyrical. I had never known that he could write so much beautifully. He could arrange the words and structures in such a brilliant way like a professional writer. The letter had so much of care and love for his beloved and he had raised so simple but caring questions in such an awesome manner, I was enthralled with it. When I was reading the letter I felt that if I had ever dared to write such love letter during my teen age I would surely had become a great poet by now. But at the same time being a teacher I thought should I allow him to send the letter to whom it is concerned or not? Should I give him the authority to write even more letters to her? Well even if I gave the authority what would other teachers think about me? They would blame me for letting them free. So many questions were on my mind.
Today, on one of my classes I finished the class quite early and my children made me tell a story for them and the first option that came in my mind was the story was the same story 'Romeo and Juliet'. Then, I realized I too should be forbidden to share such types of stories to my children if they are to be forbidden to express their feelings for their loved ones. Really who are we to control their feelings?
Yes, I too agree that as a responsible guardian we want to postpone the dating year of our teen aged children as it has various disadvantages if they aren't able to manage the issues that are going with them; but at the same time I believe that before scolding them for doing what they have done it's also important to understand the science of love. Professor Arthur Aron form State University of New York says that falling in love creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion.
Yeah, it's a risky business where our child may suffer from the very first terrible heart break but as a parent we can discuss the benefits of finding the balance in our relationship if we find our child being too involved or obsessed in it. Communicating clearly in every issue is important is much better than scolding without understanding. The most important one in my opinion would be reminding them their goals of life that they have set for them. Being firm is important but it should have fairness.
Love helps us feel important, understood and secure and our teens too have the right for it. Sometimes we just ignore their feelings terming it as the 'puppy love' but may be the same puppy love could really bring a magic in our teens. How much we forbid our teenagers from falling in love ; we can't dismiss their feeling of love, can we? So it's better to manage their feelings rather than forbidding it; we never know may be their first teen age love will be their perfect 'soul mate'.
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