Soulmates and Heartbreaks

“How did you find your soulmate?”

Since the day I got married, I have been getting this question in one form or other. People are interested to know if we ever fight or not. The scrutiny is more as we run an organization that talks about building meaningful relationships.

“Why did you get married to him?”

“Does he have all the qualities that you were looking for in a husband?”

These are some other forms of questions that people want answers to.

Frankly speaking, I had never ever imagined what my potential husband would be like. But yeah, I have had enough heartbreaks to know the kind of person I never wanted to have as my husband. I know he too has had experienced enough heartbreaks to understand the kind of person he wants to stand strong 24/7 with.

Finding each other and reaching to the conclusion of getting married isn’t that easy. We have to go through enough self-discovery to accept the fact that just like us, our partners also have flaws in them. We have to accept ourselves so well to finally admit that we can stand with that other in their thick and thin. Interestingly, most of the times, the journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance comes from heartbreaks, painful heartbreaks.

There are encounters with thousands of people but we connect only with hundreds. Out of hundreds, we are in touch with the fifties and then there are only ten of them whom you choose to share your pleasures and pains. Out of those ten, there is that only one with whom you can see yourself growing together with. It doesn’t mean that the others weren’t good enough for us or we weren’t good enough for them. Sometimes it’s about the distance. Sometimes it’s about dreams. Sometimes it’s about conversations and sometimes it’s about wellbeing.

Here, I would just like to stress upon the fact that Sagar and I are best friends, simply best friends trying to navigate the complex road of life together. We are two imperfect beings trying to walk an imperfect path holding each other firm because we know what it means to go through a heart break and walk alone.

Yes, it reads less romantic for a newly married couple but we understand the pain of romantic heartbreak. We are just growing into each other every day, trying to learn something new about each other moment to moment, trying to help each other become better versions of ourselves.

A note of reflection; we have found each other not because we went in search of our soulmates rather by being aware and learning after each heartbreak. Heartbreaks, sometimes by a person and sometimes by fate.

She made me apologize for what I had asked her to write...

Fellowship of Teach For Nepal; I completed it seven months back, now I am an alumni of Teach For Nepal working inside the classroom. It may seem like I have learnt all the lessons as a teacher, a mentor in those two years and now in my third year I am just using those learning so easily and gracefully. 

Oh! oh! not exactly.
I am learning each day even now. I try new things even now. I continue some and leave most of them. Even now I do mistakes, but important is I learn lessons from each of them. The most important lesson that I have learned joining this fellowship is to continuously reflect up on what we do each day before going to sleep, then to cherish even the smallest of the achievement and promise to learn from every mistake I do and learn a lesson. Yes, of course, not to repeat it as well. :)

What we do as mentor is try to link the education that children learn at school with their real lives. We try to make them realize that how important is it to come to school as they can learn so many things on how to make their life worthwhile and to achieve their dreams.
I tried to do the same thing but sometimes even doing that we may do mistake. I did the same mistake recently. Sometimes we look at the majority and don't realize what the minorities on the other side will do who don't have that issue. 

Most of the children whom I teach have their fathers at gulf countries working hard to sustain their life. They do hard labor just to become able to send their children to school and to solve their family's hand to mouth problem. Keeping the same thing in mind, I asked the students of grade seven to write a letter to their father who is working abroad describing about their improvement in their study and their daily schedule.
Yes, if we look at one side, this was the most relevant question for my grade seven. But what I failed to do was I didn't think about what those students will do whose fathers aren't abroad or who don't have their fathers. This I realized so late, when I started checking their copies. 

One of my students doesn't have father any more but I don't know how it slipped away from my mind. But what she wrote really shook my heart and I felt too guilty. Though she took that normally, I can feel how bad she had felt from what she wrote. 

Later, I asked her to forgive me for my mistake and here I am writing this just to share that let's not just look at what majority of students feel, sometimes the feelings of minorities do matter a lot.

Gift for my Dream Catcher

No matter what happens, some memories can never be replaced.

Yes! Some memories definitely hold that space which doesn't need any photograph or any memoir to remember. It just stays safely in our heart because in those every moment we have breathed from our heart a fresh air in our life and every feeling we feel, we feel from our heart.

Pravin, your memory is also the same.

Yes, memory.

Seven months passed, but in these seven months there is not any moment that I have felt that your memories have been replaced.

No, I don't lie to you that I have always cried in your absence. I have laughed, laughed a lot. Sometimes keeping you in my memory brings a smile on  my face and sometimes just the time becomes so beautiful that I can't help but laugh; laugh a lot. Even after your departure, I have made some wonderful memories again. After all it was you who taught me the meaning of life and brought smile in my lips after such a long time.
However you were, whatever you did, I felt a sense of happiness while talking to you or being with you. You taught me a different lesson in my life that giving happiness to others is not sufficient to bring happiness in our life rather we need to enjoy it fully with heart. If we cannot fulfill our dreams, we aren't going to fulfill other's dream as well. Love, laugh and enjoy fully. It was what you taught to me.

Sometimes I feel, you were the Dream Catcher of my life.

No, it's definitely not that I am comparing you with any inanimate object just because you are no more animate. It's just because like the feathers of those Dream Catcher, you floated towards me in a very mysterious way, helped me catch the dreams that were floating by and then again you flew away even before I was awake.
Isn't it enough reason to symbolize you as my Dream Catcher?

With those dreams that you caught for me, I am still living, laughing each seconds, enjoying every moment that I live.
I promise, I am telling the truth that if you were still alive till today, I would have helped you fulfill each of your dreams too but the stone God that you used to pray every day didn't have ears to listen your prayers and took you away before your wishes were fulfilled. Or may be your prayers were heard of and you were taken to a much better and beautiful place and now you are reliving your life.
In both the cases, though you are not here to enjoy your birthday with us, I wish you a very warm Happy Birthday. Here, I gift you a Dream Catcher to you as well so that wherever you are, may all your good wishes come true and may it tangle all the evil ones.

Attraction of Similar Poles

I was waiting for a bus back my room and nearby me there was a girl standing near a street vendor who was selling 'chatpate' and 'pani puri'. The girl seemed that she was eagerly waiting for someone. She seemed so desperate that she was frequently looking at her watch and even dialing (may be the same person she was waiting for). Her eagerness didn't stop me from guessing that she was waiting for her boyfriend. After few minutes, she smiled looking someone across the road. My eyes too followed where she was glancing at. I was imagining someone tall and handsome guy as she was tall, slim and beautiful girl. But to my surprise, across the road, I noticed a short, plump but cute girl, who was waving her hands with a beautiful smile on her face. As soon as they met, they asked chatpate for them and started chatting. The chat was so fast and random that no one could even think about that. They were talking about Modi's visit to their sudden weight gain. They were talking about their school days and about their other friends. All of a sudden there started a huge laughter. And beside them I was being interested in their chat which had no importance in my life. 

After some few minutes the bus arrived and I got into it, but my whole mind was there in their chat. At that point I realized how our thinking drives us. How negative we are? We always think that girls can never be good friends like boys are. When we see a girl waiting for some one, our mind gives the first option that she is probably waiting her boyfriend. But being a girl also most of the time we forget that the friendship between girls is grander and more dramatic than any other romance (by Hannah). 

Most of us have the opinion that women have trouble getting along with one other but I think this is not applicable in friendship as I too have experienced it and I think I shouldn't go in any lab as there is no better experimental lab than our own lives. 

Yes, it's true that so many people come into and go from our lives. We make so many friends as well and it's difficult to say whom we are more linked to and close. People who come into our lives are always not only of same sex and some of us also have the opinion linked with that the universal law of attraction that just like the negative poles attract, we only get attracted with different sex people and we tend to say that girls can never get attracted to each other or if they get attracted they are lesbians. But in my opinion the friendship goes only when there is attraction and affection. And every time the attraction never grows. But if we find the similar poles in the another girl too, along with time the attraction grows. 

The attraction between girls is so unique that even the boys cannot beat. Everyone has their  own life but each time whenever her friend needs she is there to help her. All of the best friends have their boyfriends or husbands but they manage their time to share their small things with their girl friends. They do every thing together. I don't know about boys but we girls take turns even for pointing out each other's worst qualities and what do we expect from each other. We know immediately when our other friend has a crush or when she is in a deep pain. Umm! of course, we are competitive but more than that the competition is healthy and we learn a lot from each other. 

Our friendship is bold but it doesn't mean that we overlook the male figure in our life. Our relationship with our male friends (not only boyfriend) are also unique. We respect them, care them, support them and even guide them on how they can make their girl friend happy. We hangout with our male friends also but going out with our best girl friends has it's own importance. It's awesome. 

It’s tr

Seetu, my greatest asset....

Nawang sent me a message on Facebook, "Bhawana Miss valentine lai message send nagarne?" He was talking about his social event 'Cupid For a Cause', which he and some other volunteers of Big Brother and Sister had been doing to bring 44 students of Gimdi and Simle for an educational visit to Kathmandu. I liked the cause they had choosen and wanted to participate in it. And the name of my valentine came in my mind, 'Seetu miss', a person who is with me everyday and every moment. She is not with me only during school hours but always as we do share every moment with each other. Our happy moments and sad as well. So there would be no other measure to thank her for her every support she has given and every care she has shown. So I thought to give her a surprise wish. 

And today as we had a plan to have our first meeting for the newsletter of TFN Fellows, I thought to give her the surprise there. So we were all set Nawang to sing and Swoit with his guitar and I with ballons on my hands. We were waiting her. We had planned to meet at 11 am but it was already 11:30. And we knew that Seetu came, so we became ready to give her a surprise and when she opened the door we were shouted 'Surprise' but calmly she said, "Sorry I am late". We were expecting her different reaction. After sometime she began to have a loud laugh. 

So the day was just amazing. Being a TFN Fellow I feel that one of the greatest asset that I have got is Seetu. I would never have got such a wonderful friend, if I hadn't joined Teach For Nepal.