When a boy behind band baja (band horns) dares to face the crowd (Story of Transformation 13)

                                              Follow your dreams, find your destiny

When I asked one of my children what he wants to be in future, he replied, "I want to be like Pratap Das."

Pratap Das 

What is there in this man? I thought to myself. I knew him just eight months ago when he was participating in Nepali Tara Season 3. I used to live with my grade ten children then. They were preparing for their SLC examination. Though they had their exams, they were so excited about the day when Pratap would be on TV singing and they would wait for him just to talk to him after he would return. It was the first time that anyone from their village and importantly from their school had reached that platform. I didn't have much knowledge about him or his life.

After the results of SLC, I saw him giving small gifts to all of them for their love that they had showered him even during their most important exam. That was one point where I thought of knowing more about him. Then I noticed that all the times I have seen him, he always has that smile on his face that hides his entire struggle, which he has shared with me recently.

Eight months ago, Pratap Das was just a common name. No one knew him, except for some of his friends who would force him to sing a song for them or for some couples who would invite him with his band and horns for their revelry. Now, Pratap is a name which people take with praise and see him as one of the rising stars in Nepali music industry. Most of the people know only the present Pratap but the journey that he has walked on just to find a right platform for him is inspiring and worth sharing.

National daily features him as a rising star

Yes, being born around the musical environment, Pratap was already into music even before he actually knew what he really wanted to be in his life. He remembers it was in his school when he was in grade five; he first stepped on the stage to sing. Much supported by the appraisals of his principal, Rameshwor Deshar, he started singing in the functions of school.  

When most of the people face problem in their home to be a singer, Pratap was an exception who was lucky to get a musical environment at home and support in school, then the question arises what led him hide his singing talents?

The answer is simple but yet complex at the same time. He was from the family involved in music but not from the prominent singers. Music was their source of living. They would do it all for the money. His family business was to play band horns in the revelry. His father used to play clarinet and he used to join him with euphonium. "I remember going double shifts to play the band horns in marriage ceremonies even while I was at school. I left so many classes due to that. It was so important for our survival," shares Pratap.

After his school, realizing his interest he thought to choose music as his higher studies. That went in vain when he reached his first day at Lalit Kala Campus and felt music was just the name there, so many political agendas had to be taken care of there rather then just learning music. With despair, he quits the college. Then joins,  Kalanidhi Indira Sangeet Mahabidhlaya. With a wide grin in his face, he shares there I found my real inspiration, my guru Dhan Bahadur Gopali and from then onwards he has been learning music there and now is in his fourth year.

His desire to learn more on music and grow on music led him to participate in Kalanidhi Sangeet Idol, which he won. The victory gave him some more confidence and he thought of competing in the national level singing competing, Nepali Tara Season 3.

Pratap singing along with the his juniors at his school's function

But this journey wasn't also an easy one. He was going through a lot of financial crisis and the result of that was he had to quit his study in the  first year of his bachelors level which he was doing hand on hand with music. He shares, "Nobody understood my pain that I had to work so much just to earn some money. It was a very hard decision for me to take whether to choose study or to continue music at that moment.  In the mean time, I saw a quote, follow your dreams, find your destiny on a copy and I chose to continue music and quit my study then, which I have decided to continue again now."

Also 'Nepali Tara' wasn't the first platform he went for, he gave audition for several other singing competition and was rejected.  He remembers that he wasn't confident even after the selection in his earlier rounds. Eventually his confidence started to boost up and he treasures the moment when he had sang the song of Rajan Ishan humbly improvising in his own way and was praised by his mentor James Pradhan. This inspiration worked and he was there till top 5. Though he couldn't win the title, he is happy that he is now receiving other singing opportunities which he may not have had if he hadn't participated there.  

He happily shares, "I have closed all other ways in my life. Music is the only way I want to walk on and I will be walking till the end."

My last question for him was. There are so many children who has seen him singing in that stage and want to be like him what suggestion would he give for them. He answered, "It all depends on the environment. The parents should create the environment, which is very rare. A child may try to create it but he will be successful only when their parents support them. We must let the child follow his dreams and find his destiny."

I wish Pratap a very melodious career and a successful life ahead.

मुस्कान

"तिम्रो मुस्कान मेरो लागि

खुसिको प्रतिबिम्ब हो नि

तिम्रा सारा दुख अब

सबै मेरो भो नि" मैले सोधे "साचै होर ?"

नपत्याए झैँ गरि  उसले गर्यो प्रतिप्रस्न

 " विश्वास छैन ? देखाऊ मुटु चिरी?"

Legacy for our Children

Photo credit; clchild

Few days back, I was on a public bus. A woman was sitting next to me with her toddler. It seemed that her baby had just started to utter some words in an impenetrable way. First I thought she was trying to say 'mummy' and didn't care much. Later, I realized, it was something different. She was trying to say 'madise'. I thought I was mistaken but may be I had a strange look listening that, the mother with a smile said, achel ghar ma dherai yehi bisayema kura huncha, ani nani le pani yehi bhaneko bhanai garche. (Now a days, there are so many discussions about Madhesh, so she picked that word from that) And that gave me a bang on my head and it started juggling with the term 'madhise' she was saying. She should have picked the word 'Madheshi'. That hinted she had only heard the derogatory term used for Madhesh in her surroundings.

With this, I thought of knowing what my children are thinking on the prevailing context and asked my students (aged not more than 12) in one of my classes. As talking about the political issues with small children is a bit difficult, I was trying to wave the words in an understandable way. But before I could say anything one of the boys said, "miss madise haru le ta hamro desh khayo ni hau?" (The people of Madhesh engulfed our country). Then I asked him to justify his answer on which he said, "I am telling what I have heard miss." Then I said him demanding rights don't necessarily mean engulfing the country. As a citizen we all have equality and have right to voice for our needs."

Then another asked, "In the name of their right, don't they have to think of pahade's right?" Umm…thank you for your question but your question has a mistake, it's not about pahade's right or madheshi's  right only, no one has the right to harm other's right for the sake of owns. What is important is whether we demand our right or use our right we must think about others rights as well." I said to him. Then the question and answer shifted towards rights and ways on getting our right and so many other issues like the blockade, shortage of goods and so on. I tried to satisfy them with balanced answer neither talking in favor of Madhesh nor Pahad but about the importance of right to everyone. That conversation made me realize that, those children were not speaking their point of view but were taking out just those things that they have heard these days.

I teach the students of hilly area, so the point of views were against the people of terai region and what I am sure is if we talk with the children of terai region, we will definitely find the point of view against the people of hilly region in the present context.

Most research on human development agrees that the historical era in which late childhood and early adolescence are spent is also one of the most important determinants of a child's development. Social constructivism is a paradigm in developmental psychology that characterizes learning as a process of actively constructing knowledge through an interaction between the knowledge they bring to a situation and social or cultural exchanges within that content.

I remember most of the friends of my batch even now intentionally or unintentionally calling 'dhoti' whenever they see someone from the terai origin. We picked up the term as we were grown up on the same culture and surrounding when we were child. The context changed and we grew up but our tongue still slips and we use the term. This may seem so small in the context of what problem the nation is going around today in the name of pahad and madhesh but this certainly has a role in igniting the fire of anger and hatred among us and resulted what we are facing today. The turmoil of madhesh is not new, though it is probably the longest one in the country's history. What I feel is if we had got the right information about these issues during our childhood, the situation wouldn't have turned worse. Now, we are repeating the same mistake.

Here, my point is not that we should change our perspective. But what is important is we must respect each other's perspective and also respect each other's identity. Most of all we must be careful when we are talking in front of or around our children on how we are speaking and what kinds of words and language we are using. One for their development and the other is that it is their right as a human to get the right information. Later, it's on their hand how they interpret it but our responsibility is to foster a good learning environment for them. 

We are tired of all these blood sheds, aren't we? So let's not do the mistake that our guardians did. We have already sacrificed a lot and to make it good, we are ready to sacrifice more for the future of our children. Let us create a generation where they can respect each other's existence. If we don't think about it now, definitely our children are going to see more blood sheds when they grow, which may not be only on the case of madhesh and pahad issue, but also on dalit, janajati and the issues of other minorities groups.

Preacher Billy Graham, rightly says, "The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.

Help her in teens; She will make you proud when you grow old

Parents naturally want their best for their daughters and so does my mom.

A decade ago, during my teens,  I  used to feel that my mom had a very different issue to be concerned about. She was really very worried about my study not because I was bad in my study. Interestingly she was tensed because she had heard somewhere that those daughters who are very good at their studies suddenly start falling as soon as they enter puberty. I thought it as a myth and my mom too feels it now as she feels that her daughter just maintained her position even after puberty and says that was just a pointless fabrication.  

Recently I heard the same thing from some mothers. Instead of being happy in their young daughter's achievement, they were making remarks like, "choori le ta sano ma gari halche ni, pachi bigri halche chalan nai yesto cha. Thoulo bhaye pachi kt haruko padai bigrincha ra sano ko padai ko matlab nai hudaina." (Why should we be happy on our young daughter's achievement? They are sure to ruin when they hit their puberty. There is no use of appreciating their worthless achievement now) I was saddened with their statement.  

Photo Credit; menstrupedia

I thought for a while with no concrete logic. I didn't try to even interfere them as I didn't have logical arguments against their strong belief. But what I did was come home and searched about the research and findings. That really made me curious. Has this myth ping ponged back and forth all over the world? Do girls really fall on their study after their puberty?

After reading some research what I found was this and that was worth sharing. 

A research paper published by Shannon E. Cavanagh, Catherine Riegle Crumb and Robert Crosnoe on the topic Puberty and the Education of Girls says that it not the puberty but the timing of the puberty affects the academic achievement of girls.

Those girls who have early pubertal timing, that is generally before 12 may (not necessarily) have major social psychological changes resulting grade point average and probability of course failure at the start of high school.

Specifically, early pubertal timing has three main social psychological consequences in adolescence.

First, early pubertal timing affects girls' perceptions of self. By virtue of their earlier transition to adolescence, early maturing girls are more likely to be physically out-of-step (i.e., greater breast development and curviness) with agemates at a developmental moment when both the body and social comparison increase in significance. Thus, early maturing girls maintain a negative self-appraisal, and this, in turn, can heighten their risk for psychological distress and depression (Ge.et. al. 1996; Graber and Sontag 2006)
Second, early pubertal timing is linked with girls' peer relationships. Because early maturing girls and their peers attribute greater maturity to them than is warranted by their age, early maturing girls are more likely to select and/or be drawn into less normative friendship groups, ones that include older boys and girls and are characterized by riskier behavior and lower academic achievement ( Cavanagh 2004: Haynie 2003).
Finally, as a consequence of its effects on girls' psychological well-being and relationships with peers, early pubertal timing is associated with higher levels of problem behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, and sexual activity. That is, early maturing girls are more likely to be embedded in social contexts that offer them opportunities to engage in riskier behaviors. Because these girls had less time to integrate the coping skills needed to manage the new tasks in adolescence, they negotiate these opportunities often without the socio-emotional resources they need to make healthier choices. (Cavanagh 2004; Haynie 2003; Jessor and Jessor 1979).

Looking into these facts, what we can confidently say is that it's natural to see the changes and feel the changes. What is unnatural is to be overlooked. If we do know that daughters are going to have these natural disorders then its better to take care of them, appreciate them, make them feel that they are being matured and they have someone whom they can share their every thing.

Photo Credit; cloudfront

When I read these, I really thanked my mother for being so kind to me in my teen age, for being my friend. I just could share every thing with her. If parents want their daughters to overcome these myths and have them maintain their good attributes, it better they start from now so that when time comes, daughters would freely come and share whatever they are going through and can study with free mind and concentrate on whatever they are doing.

Let me share another interesting fact from a recent international study made by UNESCO and the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) named, Literary Skills for the World of Tomorrow  suggests that girls are reading better than boys through age 15. According to the report, girls had higher reading scores in every one of 43 countries surveyed. The study was based on tests involving 4,500 to 10,000 students in each country. Interestingly, the report also suggests that boys are reading less fluently because of "a lack of engagement." Statistically, 56 percent of the boys read only to get information, compared with 33 percent of the girls. However, nearly half of the girls said they read for at least thirty minutes a day, compared with less than one-third of the boys.  

So guardians, especially mothers, be proud that you have a daughter and do appreciate her achievements and buckle up your shoes to help your daughter during her puberty. Your daughter is definitely going to make you proud.

P.S. Here in the booklet http://www.health.wa.gov.au/docreg/Education/Population/Youth_Health/HP010367_girls_and_puberty_booklet.pdf

are some important things that every girl child should know and even some good ways how parents can share without any hesitation, all the changes about puberty in a way their young daughters can understand.

The Present Condition of Nepal (From a child's eye)

I gave my grade eight students to write about how they see the present context of Nepal as their Dashain Homework. Here is what I found Sabina Dahal has written. I was so thrilled to read it. One the way she has looked at the context and the other her writing style. I am really very proud to be her writing guide. Here is what she writes.

Nepal is our motherland. It's land of glorious victory. Our country has passed so many bad times but we didn't give up easily. We are known as brave Gorkhalis in the world. Our country is the birthplace of Lord Buddha i.e, the land of peace.

It is actually true, my country is a peaceful land but in this present time, each drop of blood of people in my country, is being valueless. People are dying day by day. Schools are not running regularly. There are so many questions in people's mind. "How will our nation go ahead?" People are fighting with each others. People of my country are being violent. It's not because they want violence but it's because they don't want to bear torture.

After almost six decades, our new constitution has been made. Most of the people are happy are celebrating, but some people are not satisfied so, they are doing unwanted things to show their disagreement. People are forgetting their relationship of brothers and sisters of a motherland Nepal and blaming each others.

Nepal is facing so many challenges and problems. Our neighboring country is giving us pain. There is blockade at boarders of India and Nepal. There is crisis of petroleum products in Nepal. This is bothering people very much. The daily life of people totally disturbed. The greatest festival 'Dashain'  is coming nearer but there is no excitement and smile among people.

The pain given by the earthquake of 2072/1/12 is not still relieved and other so many problems are hurting people. Nepal has dipped in the ocean of tears. No one is happy and taking the relaxing breathe. People are wondering here and there to find out the solution of these problems. If we really want to solve these problems in my opinion we must start making some efforts by ourselves. We must search for alternative ideas. We should again give birth to the feelings of brothers and sisters of own mothers among the people of our country.

I love my country Nepal. I think due to these problem we Nepali have become united. India was our good neighbor but it has betrayed us now. So that, we are being together to face this challenge which creates the feeling of unity. People are saying "We love Nepal." Yes, we really do it. The time has come to be strong and to prove ourselves and show to others that we are not weak. So, let's put hand in hand and give courage to each others in this difficult period of time.