Sharing and Learning with Dr. Rajib Subba

Photo Credit: Umes Shrestha

I wish I had the session that I had today in any of my classes during my college days. Being the student of Humanities and Social Sciences for the last ten years, I always had problem in learning the theories propounded by all those great people. I used to linger in one long sentence that my teacher would translate in Nepali and then repeat that again and again, without analyzing it. Worst were the exams, with no good inherent quality of rotting, I used to make my own formulas to understand those theories just for the the sake of writing in exams.  But today, I saw a teacher, a facilitator breaking down those theories so easily using short stories, which I love reading.

Today (18th March, 2016), we had the 'Sharing and Learning' session by Dr. Rajib Subba for all the faculty members. Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIG) Subba, holds a doctorate in Information and Communication from the University of Hawaii. He teaches Organizational Leadership to MBA students here. I was so amazed to find that a full time professional, who has joined teaching only out of passion, is so dedicated that each of his lessons are well planned. He incorporates games, stories, videos, interesting personality trait questions and many more in every single lesson. In most of the cases we have seen that even a full time teacher hesitating to do that. Starting the day with chocolates for everyone, he ended up with cheesecake ice cream. This was what he used to do even in his classroom. He shared, "Building healthy relationship with students is so crucial. We must acknowledge that they are there irrespective of the stress they are having in their lives. We, as their mentor, have the duty to guide them." It was so surprising to know that he used to save the reference mentioned by all the students in their assignments and save it for future. He said, "Those references are the outcome of student's hard work and I can learn so many new ideas from them." I wonder how he manages his time for all these works.

In his session, I felt like a child listening to stories, having fun, playing games. One and half hour session passed without being bored. The way he was expressing his childhood dreams of being involved in different fields, which he has achieved by now, made me realize that nothing is impossible if a person tries. Importantly, what I learned today is it's not the lack of teachers that is hindering our learning, rather it's the lack of passionate teachers like him.

Published in King's College's blog http://www.kingscollege.edu.np/sharing-and-learning-with-dr-rajib-subba/

तिमी

तिमी नहुदो हौ त,

म कोसँग चिच्याउदो हुु,

कोसँग पागलजस्तै कराउदै बह फुकाउदो हु ।  

अनि कोसँग रमाउदो हुँ ।

तिमी छौ र त,

भक्कानो फकाएर रुने हिम्मत आउछ,

मनभित्र रहेका पिडा सबै  

बाहिर निस्कन पाउछ ।

अनि हतास निरास मन

एक्कासी रमाउछ । 

Meena Paudel: Rewriting the Code of Disabled Women (Story of Transformation 17)

Australian disability advocate Stella Jane Young says, "We are a society that treats people with disabilities with condescension and pity, not dignity and respect. About 10 percent of the world's population, i.e. about 650 million people live with disabilities. They are the ones who frequently encounter countless physical and social obstacles. Sadly, if they are women they are doubly discriminated: for being a women, and for their disability. Nepalese society, too isn't far from this stigma. On the contrary, there are a group of handicapped women who are bold and have struggled enough to change their identity from 'disabled' to 'differently abled' women empowering themselves with education.

Meena Paudel

Meena Paudel, 37, from a remote village of Nepal, Ramechhap has set an example of continuous effort and struggle. Now, a general secretary of National Disabled Women Association, Meena's struggle started when she was born, obviously for being born a daughter and that too a disabled one. Being born with scoliosis (a disorder in which there is a sideways curve of the spine, or backbone), pain has been a challenge to her. 

Meena Participating in a relay hunger strike to force government to ensure
the right of women

Nepali society where disability is still viewed as a punishment to the sins committed in previous birth, Meena was treated worst as an object of pity. No one really cared for her; even she was abandoned by her guardians. As she grew up, she desperately wanted to learn to read and write, but school wasn't an easy destination for her. Fortunately, she had a younger brother and her parents wanted her to go to school with him as his caretaker. Surprisingly, her brother failed the board exams while she passed. That really encouraged her to continue her study. 

Meena leading the march against the prevailing inequality

Her self motivation was so strong that she didn't deter her urge of learning even after being called as langadi (a derogatory term for disabled) by her class mates and seniors. Physical discomfort always made her long playing with her friends. Not only that, amazingly, the approximate two hours difficult walk up and down the hill to reach her secondary school, too couldn't stop her from going to school. She passed through dense forests and crossed the rivulet every day and went to school. 

When Meena left home for Kathmadu, Nepal's capital to continue her high school study, she wasn't supported by her family. However, she remained enthusiastic. Thinking of her own hardships, she thought of helping other disabled women like her and started an organization for disabled women through that she used to provide training to other women. Lack of funds arouse another problem for her which she used to overcome doing different temporary jobs like typing. Later, she started working as a program co-ordinator of National Disabled Women Association. Through which she was able to continue her study, her work of motivating other disabled women and started shaping her vision. She used to go door to door and aware people about the rights of disabled women and importance of education. 

Meena shares, "Until and unless disabled women are economically empowered, we cannot imagine prosperous society and education is the means that paves the way of economic empowerment. I, too am able to do these works because of education."

For her vivacity and struggle, she was awarded as Aosta's (Italy) 'Women of the Year, 2011'. The prize money of 17,500 euro that she was awarded helped her to contribute more in her work. She utilized that money in organizing skill development training for the handicapped women of Banke and Kanchanpur districts and also helped them to start their own business by providing them some seed money. 

Meena receiving her award at Italy

Today Meena is a happy mother (which people thought she could never be), has a masters degree in Sociology (the outcome of her continuous struggle) and puts all her energy (passionately) as one of the board members of NDWA, involving women with physical disabilities and raises awareness for their social inclusion and equality. She expresses, "When I present myself as an example among other disabled women, they really get surprised and inspired to get education and be empowered. I am elated to be the one to rewrite the code of the disabled women."  

"Lot of changes have been made till date. Yes, the condition of disabled women have definitely risen in some level but there's more to do", Meena says firmly. 

The government of Nepal has not been able to do significant work for disabled people on various basic activities like establishment of special need education school, launch skill development training, rehabilitation of disabled people. In this context, the achievement that Meena has been able to secure for herself and for other disabled women is praiseworthy. She breaks the taboo and rewrites the code of how society sees the disabled women. 

Cursed Pregnancy, Blessed Motherhood

"Motherhood: All love begins and ends here."

Robert Browning, an English poet, using those few words says it all about the gravity of  parturition.

Every culture and society appreciates and honors mother and motherhood. Everyone celebrates the fact that a mother carries her child in her belly and awe her for her choice of being pregnant. We have heard that pregnancy is by far the most beautiful experience that any one could ever be part of. Connecting it with feminine traits, we say that a woman becomes complete only when she carries a child in her womb. It's really unfortunate that a man can never feel his belly growing with a new life inside it and hear the heart beat for the first time. Except those sperms contributed by man, pregnancy is an ultimate feminist act. But it's so paradoxical that pregnancy becomes a huge subject to the needs of a patriarchal society. 

I still remember my aunt who had to suffer the unreasonable taunts of society for not being pregnant even after half a decade of their marriage. She was always glared at and had to answer different questions regarding her prolonged infertility, which she was unable to respond to as her gynecologist too wasn't being able to find the exact answer.

Eventually, the loads of medications worked and one month she didn't bleed. The news flooded every corner with bliss. But that happiness couldn't remain longer with my aunt as she had to imprison herself within the walls of her room because of her growing belly. Now every eyes were glued on her giant abdomen and then they were taunting her for not being so careful to hide it. 

Why should she have to hide it? Wasn't it a proud moment for her? After all she had waited so many years for that moment?

I realized my aunt was the queen of the then patriarchal chess game. It was fifteen years back. Now, the time has spun. We can't pass a newsstand these days without seeing pregnant hollywood celebrities happily posing (sometimes naked) for the cover of some 'A' listed magazines. Every time I pass the newsstand I had the feeling that yes, now the day has come when none of the women have to go through that depressing state or have to be questioned all the time regarding their attire during pregnancy.

Malvika Subba on the set of NTV ready for
interview. (It's her boldness that she has accepted
to challenge the existing assumption that pregnant
women should hide themselves inside the four walls
of their room)
Photo extracted from Malvika's Public Profile

I was wrong. Not yet. Women aren't that free. Yes, some people pretend to be transformed. They talk about women empowerment and the need of confidence in a woman, but when they really encounter the one, they start judging and reproaching her. Malvika Subba, a well known media personality, is enjoying her pregnancy-hood these days. And I am shocked to see the negative comments that are being passed to her through social media for not concealing her baby bumps. Those who didn't use to get tired of praising her for her bold personality and dress up sense are now putting her down for being too valiant in her appearance and exposure during her pregnancy.

Malvika is just an example. There may have been many women who are challenging this presumption of our society. But being a celebrity Malvika dares to bring the limelight on this issue and we can imagine, being one of the leading women of Nepal if she has to face this trouble, what could be the case of other normal women?   

This really puzzles me. Why pregnancy is made a subject to insult a woman? Is it because pregnancy exposes their private sex life? Or, for what? Otherwise I don't find any reason.

Pregnancy radiates woman power. It signifies life.

With this I don't mean that everyone should expose their pregnancy moments. But what I feel is, who are we to stress them on how they should keep carefully hidden behind layers of clothes? They already are having so many changes in their bodies as well as lives. Isn't that a big thing? 

It's so amazing that a female body is full of immense capacity. It can change, adapt and also has the strength and resilience of being pregnant. They know what they are comfortable in.They know what they should choose and what they must avoid. When we talk about choice, I will not be wrong when I say, more than males, females have problem for what another woman chooses for herself. It's so disgraceful. If a woman finds happiness in flaunting her baby bump, then its her choice, we must respect that. Particularly, I don't understand how can she hide it, it gets exposed one way or the other. After all she is not showing off her naked belly.

If we term sex as a private affair, then pregnancy too is a private and precious affair. It's her choice whether she conceals her bumps with pretty loose alternative dresses or with pride in firm fitting clothes. If she chooses to show it then it simply means she is comfortable with that. Why should she hide it just because we are uncomfortable? We may choose to ignore her. No, but we don't even do that. May be our demon inside us doesn't sleep without profaning her. 

'Barefoot and Pregnant', the days when these terms were famous are all gone now. Women have proved themselves that they have a huge strength within them and can excel in any field. For a woman to create, grow and give birth to another life is unbelievable. A beautiful bundle of joy is growing there inside her womb, so let's not curse that joy even before it lands. World is already filled with so much disgrace, let's not catch hold and pull the happiness quickly. That child growing inside her womb may be the one who would make this world a better place. Cursing her mom means cursing the child. Bless her regardless of her choice after all we know that pregnancy is not a sin.