"RIP" Nepali Aama

As soon as I was in my twenties, my mom started nagging me for my marriage. The best tool of her persuasion is that she gives evidences of my friends who are happily married and are being supported by their husbands in their work as well. As you know, she hasn't yet become able to persuade me on this, now motherhood has become another weapon for her these day. My mom argues being a female, I have to beget a child which will be much difficult if I get older. I convince her that I still am not mature enough to start a conjugal relationship and begetting child is what I can't think of as of now even in my mid twenties.

I wonder how my friends went through this.

I acknowledge their boldness, along with that I appreciate their caring and supporting family members as well. But still, I can't dare imagine myself in that place.

   

Recently, I watched a documentary "Birth in Nepal" made by Subina Shrestha, a Nepalese journalist and that gave me goose bumps.(To watch go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ76DB1NSfE ) It projects the pathetic condition Nepalese mothers have to go through, with their husbands working abroad, lack of nutritious food and no easy access to medical care during their labour period.

Yes, the documentary was heart wrenching. But, what really drifted my attention was the time it was broadcasted. The documentary was broadcasted on Al Jazeera English, a renowned international media on May, 2010. Six long years! Yes, it was six years ago. The gloomy reality is that even when the dangerous reality of birth in Nepal was brought into limelight half a decade back, the scenario is yet to change.

Reading this, you may call me defeatist when Nepal is considered as one of the countries where the global effort to improve pregnancy and delivery has several success stories. However, I don't see any improvement beyond what Subina has projected in her film.

The recent tragedy of Fishtail Air helicopter again made me go against the tide regarding the chant of development and transition of our country. The tragedy says a lot about our present miserable condition; not just about the topography and the infrastructure but also about the condition several Nepalese women are going through. Today, let me burst just on the teen mother who died in the tragedy. As everyone has given me the tag of being feminist.

The wreckage of Fishtail Air Helicopter that crashed in Nuwakot district
on August 8, 2016. Photo RSS

" Why only me? Everyone should be a feminist! "

Priti Gurung, the 5 day old nursing mother for whom the helicopter was chartered was reported 19. So, we can assume that she, got married at 18 or even before that (may be), was still in her teens. Several Medical Researches have proved that teen age pregnancy has higher risk of Pre-eclampsia, which is a dangerous medical condition that clinically manifests as a high blood pressure in a pregnant woman with excess protein in the urine, swelling of hands and face and organ damage which can be detrimental to both the mother and the child. According to the news, Priti was also having similar symptoms. I felt pathetic to know that even her husband wasn't with her in such a tender situation.

Anand sir, my Fiction professor warns ironically, "People don't like the ones who talk negative of those who are no more, our culture teaches us this" whenever we are being critical about some writers who are no more. Sorry, but let me be crueler and judge Nepalese mentality which sill prefers son.

What if Priti had given birth to a daughter, would her in-laws even think of spending money on chartering a helicopter? 

You may trash me for my rude remarks but I am not being able to let this question go out of my soul and thus, expressing here.

Photo Credit: etsy.com

This incident unleashes stories of many other Pritis who have to face the same tragedy, the  only difference is she passed away in a plane crash while others in goth (cow shed). She died in pursuit of getting treatment while many others die even not daring to imagine a sudeni (midwife). Sabina Shrestha in her five months of pregnancy vented out in search of reality and even exposed it but again women are not being able to receive proper treatment even in such an delicate situation, which is their basic right.

And here, when I am writing this, a woman, who cannot imagine of being a mother, am sure that nothing is going to change.

Another six years will go but no, nothing is going to change.

"Oh, sorry! Yes, you are right. Our GOVERNMENT. It's definitely going to change."

Let me frame my question in another way. 

What am I going to do?

What are you going to do?

... "Nothing..."

I will just be busy at my work. May be in a few more years, my mom will get another weapon of argument to persuade me for marriage. 

Umm...

You too will be busy at your work. Oh, no let me correct, we would find time to post "RIP" in our Facebook walls for other Pritis. Then, for another whole years Facebook will keep on reminding us that we had been through that gloomy feeling and we would again be busy on our another project. In the mean time some where in the corner a Nepali Aama would sacrifice her precious life in the name of Nepal Sarkar (Nepal Government) and we busy modern Nepali Jantas (citizens). And we again would post "RIP" and move on.