Sexy Distortion

'To be, or not to be'

How precisely and wonderfully Shakespeare presented the soliloquy of a man in his play Hamlet. I wonder if he had ever tried portraying a woman's dilemma in such an eloquent manner.  Even if he had, I am sure it wouldn't be persuasive. 

No, I am not raising a question mark in his knack. I know he is the one among few who have immortalized their creations. It's just a feeling of mine. Yes, mine. 

I am a distorted self; pulled, twisted and muddled by several quandaries. I am my father's daughter, a brother's sister, a boy's girlfriend, a man's wife, a son's mother, a lad's friend. I am pampered by my father, respected by my brother, wooed by my boyfriend, questioned by my husband and teased by my male friends. I am a house wife. At the same time I am also a manager. These relationships baffle me. Along with this the expectations that the society has for me makes me mad.

I keep on asking myself. 

Who am I?

What do I aspire?

You may be laughing and contemplating not only women, men too are bounded by these kinship and norms of society, we, men too have to face that. 

But, my friend, have you ever pondered on how it feels to be imprisoned inside self built cage? 

Photo Credit; laurawharton9 on pinterest

No, you haven't. You haven't been through the state of asking whether to be yourself, or not to be. That's because you are always what you want to be or you are free to choose whatever you want to be. 

Oh! Poor me, I don't have that right. I don't know whether I should gain weight or to loose. If I gain some calories, they call me obese and if I lose some they term me skeleton. I am tired to figure out what I should actually wear. I want to flaunt my skirts but if I dare to do that I am gored by those piercing eyes which sticks on my skin and God knows what else they start visioning. Thus, I drape a saree (a traditional garment consisting of a length of cotton) just to protect myself from those taunts that my society would bestow me if I opted my comfy. 

My body! Is it really mine? When my husband presses my bosom and hits me hard, I too want to grapple him, but I can't. If I do that I may be suspected on my purity. Instead of listening to my desire, I pause and be a mere object for him. 

Society judges me on whatever I do. More than society, you judge me. Whenever I walk along with man, you judge me reliant and whenever I chose to be single you assume my life is lacking, (If that's for a longer period,you land up concluding that I must have some problem). 

Some days I am worshiped as the incarnation of great Goddesses while the other (most of the days) I am just the subject of unwarranted pity. I want to focus on my career but I am tortured with the 5W 1H (What, When, Where, Who, Why, How ) questions about marriage, which you are less likely to be asked about. I am compared with that moon. Alas! I can't walk on moon light because wolves are there howling and waiting to prey upon me.

I am confused and indecisive. But at the same time I am empowered. I can balance my work and my children. Most of the times I have excelled on whatever I have done with all my heart even when I am in the stage of confinement with fewer opportunities. 

YET, I keep on hammering my head to consider whether to place myself the first or the last. 

Hello brother, do you also have similar soliloquy or is it just a sexist perplexity? Umm! Sexy thoughts, aren't they? 

Virtual to Real: Love Story of Suraj and Geeta (Story of Transformation 16)

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

Umm ! What's your say on this?

I can't listen your answer but yes! what I know is if you have gone through these emotions, a faint smile is already there on your face.

How to know whether someone deeply loves you or not?

How to judge his/her loyalty?

or,

How to be sure that the person with whom we are engaged in is really going to stick with us even in our odd conditions?

No, I don't have the answer and I know you don't know its answer as well. Some may link the answers with the length of relationship of any couple. But really is this the standard? Is the relationship years directly proportional with the loyalty or the depth of love between the partners?

Though, I couldn't find any research on it, what I am sure is this is not the answer. Yes, love is so complex but along with this another truth lingers, i.e, we all yearn to love and be loved.

The love tale that I am sharing today is simple, yet beautiful. The protagonist of this tale himself says there is nothing spicy in his love journey. But yet when he shares, he himself plunges so deeply in his own love during our sharing. So, without any delay I want to take you to Qatar, where the protagonists of this love tale are residing now.

Suraj Poudel and Geeta Acharya, a happily married couple both 27, now work as a Sales co-coordinator and Senior Barista in Starbucks Qatar respectively now. But let me take you five years back in 2011 when they knew each other for the first time.

Wow, thanks goes to Mark Zuckerberg that he started Facebook, otherwise Suraj and Geeta wouldn't have met. Or, may be they would have met but I guess that wouldn't be so easy. Geeta was just a mutual friend to Suraj till the day when both of them happened to comment on the same status of their common friend. Suraj doesn't know what made him like Geeta that he sent her a friend request, but he is happy now that he did that effort. 

Geeta took some days to decide but finally after few days she accepted his friendship. Then started their chit chats. From formal talk to daily usual stuffs they started sharing each and every thing about them and that brought them closer. Suraj remembers that they used to be on internet for about 15 hours every day. It seemed that they had slowly become fond of each other. And that talk continued for really a long time. Days turned into months and that too was moving so fast and till those time, Suraj had already had generated a feeling for Geeta. Finally after eight months of their friendship, Suraj proposed Geeta. 

Surprisingly not for a relationship rather directly for marriage. "I started liking everything about Geeta", Suraj shares. Geeta took some one and half months to reply. Though late, Suraj got a positive nod from her and then it all started. 

Everything was virtual. But Suraj recalls, "Everything was so transparent between us and we were very honest. I guess, she likes my honesty and loyalty towards her. I, on the other hand I already had got the feeling like we are made for each other." The virtual love ended when Suraj came on holiday in 2012. They met for the first time and that added more love and trust in their relationship. 

It was fine till the day Geeta revealed about their relationship to her family. Geeta, as mentioned is from a Brahmin family and Suraj from a Chhetriya family. Suraj's family had not much issue on it but Geeta's family members stood against their relationship. While on the other side, Geeta stood firm on her decision. She somehow convinced her father to at least meet Suraj once. Her father agreed. And the meeting turned positive. Geeta's father liked him. Then he was the next one to stand for their relationship when all the other members were against them. He fixed their marriage without taking consent of other members. 

Now they are happily married for more than three years and all the family members are happy with them. Suraj shares "I had a liking for Geeta even before we met but it grew so strong when she stood for our relationship. I have seen many of my friends who vow to live together forever but leave their partner even on minor issues but Geeta so confidently dealt with it and didn't leave me in any condition then, and even now she does the same." 

Geeta is Suraj's lucky charm as per his words. "Everything turned right since she came into my life. Otherwise I wasn't the man whom you see now," smilingly shares Suraj. Yes! I can see the difference as Suraj and I are friends from school. :) I, know the transformation from a naughty, irresponsible and careless brat to a matured man must have been difficult. 

"Truly speaking, I realized what t ireally means to love and be loved after I met her", added Suraj. Finally when I asked him about his dream he so glow-fully said, " I want to grow old with her."

Oh! How romantic !

Yeah, it's difficult to say what really is the 'Love' but Suraj and Geeta's story explains, love is about trust, strength, courage and willingness to go through the rain to reach the sunshine. I wish them a very fulfilling and romantic days ahead on this Valentine's day and I really really wish that may Suraj's dream be fulfilled. 

Suraj may you grow old with Geeta. :) 

Lots of love..........

To those who challenge on FACEBOOK to name five females who died for LOVE

February, the month of love; you feel the color of love surrounding you. From the glasses of Shopping Malls to the walls of your heart, you see red, the symbol of love everywhere. They say this month gives you an opportunity to vox your feelings to the person you love if you are really waiting for a special moment to express. So this month gives birth to many relationships. And when we talk about any relationship what we feel is both the partners irrespective of their gender are equally important irrespective. They both share responsibilities to make their love successful.

Unfortunately, sometimes knowingly or unknowingly we happen to demean the value of others, especially the role of women. I found a message trending around the social media these days. It says;

"Romeo died for love, Valentine died for love, Jack of Titanic, Samson, Hercules, Achilles, and even Jesus died for love... Name at least five women who died for love, else boycott gifts to women this Valentine's day."

I don't have any issues whether you give gifts to your girl friends or your wives or any female friends but I really have my objection when you provide long lists of men who died for love and deny the fact that there aren't any women who died for that very love.  

Before I go any further let me list few names who died for 'LOVE' and yes, if you have put on few efforts just on googling the names, you too have found out easily. 

Well, since you mention Romeo in the beginning, we could start with Juliet. After Juliet finds Romeo dead, she too stabs herself and dies. (To those who only know Romeo dying, go through the complete drama please.)

If you are going for the fictional characters then the following are some of the list of female characters who died for love apart from Juliet. 

1. Ophelia from Hamlet

2. Muna from Muna Madan

3. Cho-Cho- San from Madame Butterfly

4. Du Liniang from The Peony Pavilion

5. Lily Potter from Harry Potter (though she died for the love of her son; by the way love isn't only is between the couples.)

Or, if you are willing to go back to the history, then here are some females all around the world who died for love and some are even termed as the symbol of love and kindness. 

1. Mother Teresa, a well known figure, who loved all the people of the world without any judgement. 

2. Mary Slessor, a Scottish missionary who died for the love of women and children of Nigeria.

3. Florence Nightingale, also popularly known as 'Lady with the Lamp' paved the way of modern nursing due to which you are being cared by thousands of nurses when you fall sick.

4. Helen Keller, another name of hope who being deafblind person campaigned and devoted her life for women's suffrage, labour right, socialism and many other causes. 

5. Elizabeth Fry, an English social reformer (popularly known as 'Angel of Prisons') devoted her life for poor, sick and prisoners. 

It is said that when there is love, there is life. So when you challenge women to die for love, remember that there are thousands of women dying each day when giving life to a child. According to World Health Organization, one woman die in every two minutes due to complications in delivery.

More than that there are several women who are dying every day for the love of their family members. Oh! if you are talking about the real death for the husband. Then I guess none of the man have sat in the pyre and burnt themselves for their wives like thousands of Hindu women who gave their life in the same way in the name of Sati. 

If you observe closely any female who are associated with your life; your mother, daughter, sister, wife, girl friend, you will know how many sacrifices she has made. 

The post may just be a fun challenge to women. But I take it as an act of stupidity of an arrogant man who is proud of  his 'phallus' or an ignorant teen age boy who still needs to learn more about the contribution of women in world history. If this is just for the intelligence test of a woman, the lists above have limitations as I have limited knowledge but instead of challenging on these issues please improve your intelligence questions. These answers can simply be retrieved from internet search engines. 

Lastly, here is a quote for you guys.

Thus, stop posting posts like the above one, full of ego, attitude and ignorance and share love with your beloved. By the way, she doesn't really needs your gifts, just treat her equal. Give her the respect, she deserves it. 

उडान

मनभित्रका उकुसमुकुस

नयनभित्रका अश्रु

जीवनलाई जटिल बनाउने 

छन् विविध विषय र विस्तु

कहिले लाग्छ यहि उकुुसमुकुसभित्र

निसासिनेछु म ।

अनि कहिले लाग्छ यहि अश्रुभित्र नै 

डुब्नेछु म ।

तर पनि,

आशा मार्ने मेरो बानी छैन 

हार खाने वाला मानिस म हैन ।

म पर्खाइमा छु त्यस दिनको

जब निस्सासिएका मेरा भावनाहरु

थोपा बनेर बहनेछन् 

अनि बाफिदै उड्नेछन्

आकाशमा बादल जस्तै

, 

मेरो मनलाई सहज बनाउदै

अनि म पनि उड्नेछु 

त्यससंगै स्वच्छन्द र स्वतन्त्र

आफ्नै उन्मादमा, 

उन्मुक्त चरीजस्तै
आफ्नै उडानमा । 

18th Annual Function at School

Here, we complete our 18th annual function. It may be the last function that I would celebrate at Jyotidaya. So I was willing to make the children run the program and I did it. So, this function became the best of all my events. Though, it was a very tiring day and I even didn't get a second to click photos of my children's performance, I can feel the sense of happiness within me. :) Umm, I haven't forgotten I along with my grade six and seven girls had choreographed the song 'Jaalma'.  I couldn't see it as I was busy in making the anchors ready. I heard that they did well. 

(Hope to borrow some pictures and post it soon)

February Feelings :)

Let me soak in your arms

drenched in your love,

and soar high and high 

just like a bird.