Kathmandu: A Mother Lode of Experiences (Story of Transformation 32)

It is what he does every evening. He has his own side of the road where he places his chana chatpat truck and sells his chatpatey and panipuri. I look at his pots of grams and peas and bujiya and chillies and lemonades. They are no different than those I used to eat at my hometown Itahari, but yes, the stories those vendors share is extremely different. I found that few days back when his share of place was empty for quite a week.

When I could enjoy his panipuris again, I asked him where had he been. He with a wide grin on his face shared he had been to Janakpur. I could sense his joy as he started sharing about his family at Janakpur and how he had come to Kathmandu to meet their needs. Kathmandu for him is a madhouse, where he says he can drift the attention of the confused people with his mouthwatering panipuris.

Another share of the very road is of corn vendor didi, who is here from Karnali for her children. Roasting the corn she gasps, how her children, for whom she had shifted her place, are now ashamed of what she does for their living. Kathmandu is a grey area for her, where she has lived half of her life but could never belong.

Kathmandu!!

“But that’s the paradox of expectations; they are infamous for generally never being fulfilled.” I borrow the words of Kundan Dutta Chaudhary to describe Kathmandu.

Kathmandu had always been my dreams.

You will definitely know what I mean and how much I mean it if you have spent your childhood outskirts of this capital city. Yes, I had heard about the pollution. I was also aware about the scarcity of resources here. My parents were apprehensive when I first shared my whim of coming here alone. But, they permitted me and living here for five years, now, when I look back, I must thank Kathmandu for giving me the guts that I have right now. 

I know it’s not the place but the experiences that shape you but interestingly Kathmandu provides you with all those bitter sweet unique stories which you can never live elsewhere.

It’s interesting when landlords don’t offer their rooms to single young lady but they never bother to ask where their husband is when they are told, she is married.

“Haha. Don’t you believe this?”

Actually I am the proof. I rented a room for a year calling myself married. I find this one the most hilarious part of my life. There are so many other experiences.

Among the people I know, I have found Sweta Gyanu Baniya, the one, so much in love with her birthplace Kathmandu. The way she expresses her love for Kathmandu makes others fall in love with the place. Now, doing her Ph.D. in USA, she shares, “Kathmandu feels so close. I belong here and nowhere else.”

But, for someone who left their place for Kathmandu can also feel the same amount of closeness with the place because they have lived their dreams here. They have given their heart and soul for their city of hope. They have seen their transformation as a person. For us, Kathmandu doesn’t only represent Nepal but a dreamland where everyone aspires to move one day. Ashish Dev, who was fortunate enough to move here from Saptari in his childhood feels that “the rush and the busyness of Kathmandu leads some new people to think that this is ‘hell’ but actually it’s the epitome of the modern world.”

Yes, I call him fortunate because there are people like Anita Tamang who had lived their life dreaming about Kathmandu all their childhood. Resident of Nuwakot, Anita shares, “I was desperate about coming to Kathmandu. It was a foreign land for me where I dreamed of going to a good school and living a grand life. For me this city had all the merits. However, when I finally shifted to this place, I realized it also had all the evils. Apart from all of these, what I believe is this place gives you the guts to fulfill your dreams not because it has opportunities but because there’s no one to lean onto.” She adds, “Your friend no more becomes your friend. Everyone is running after a race of survival, that too, alone.”

It’s just like what Darwin explains in his theory ‘struggle for existence’ for those who move here from another place. And for those, who are born here this place has taught them to believe in hard work. Juni Deshar shares, “When I see and hear the stories of my friends who have moved here from their villages and are struggling to fulfill their dreams, I really get inspired. Somehow these stories has helped me shape my future that I have thought for myself, the plans that I have made. I am not talking about the big struggles and achievement one has to go through here, but all those little adjustments one has to make financially and socially is worth appreciating.”

Yes, this place has its own aura. The stories aren’t always beautiful. Many people lost themselves in the urge of finding a new self. For many, their stories are never heard. To some, it’s a place of innovation. What I have realized is Kathmandu makes everyone adopt a persona and sometimes people do fail to carry their originality when adopting it.

For me Kathmandu has made me become strong at the same time vulnerable. It has made me feel free but at the same time bounded with the choices I make. I would have never passed through so many temples all my life if it wasn’t Kathmandu but it has made me atheist because even after walking through every doors, prayers are unheard. It has made me become aware of my strengths but at the same time I find myself stuck here.

Putting everything aside, when I reflect how this place has transformed me as a person, I resonate with what my school mate Mahesh Thapa has to say, “Kathmandu taught me to survive no matter how big the problem is.” Yes, Kathmandu in its own subtle way transformed me as a person and I guess several others in their process of becoming.