Reflection: Finding the self

730 days you work 24/7 for your children without thinking whether it's a day or a night, sunny or a windy day. Finally it's your day to say good bye to them. Then with a grimed face, they remind you their dreams that you have made them see; the dream of doing something new for their community and for themselves or let's say rebuilding their lives in a new way. Of course! you feel that there is nothing more important in your life then being with them some days more and helping them to reach their dreams and you decide to live with them 365 days more. And suddenly when your kids start to add brick on their dreams, and their whole house of dream collapses, you become so helpless that you have not any of your energy to even say that they can rebuild their dreams once again. But you are their teacher, you can't let them collapse.
The same happened with me. For two years I taught in Chapagaun, sub-urban village of Nepal and left no stones unturned to make them realize how important is education for them, how they can change their lives by coming to school and how education can help them raise their living standard; they finally had a belief on me and they asked me to stay with them for more years. Though my term as a Teach For Nepal Fellow ended on March 2015, I decided to stay at Chapagaun one more year for my children and help them reach their dream. My kids were happy with my decision and were eagerly shaping their dreams. But, suddenly the earthquake of April 25 shook Nepal and it not only struck the buildings and turned them into mere rubbles, along with the school buildings and the houses, the dreams of my children too fell down. Everything went back to square one. The condition was worse than before.

Now after a year it seems we are gradually forgetting the pain. It seems nothing will shake us. But during these period whatever we did as a team was really very helpful. The way TFN supported our school with the stationery and the mid-day meal or the way we all teachers became united to bring the smile back on our children's face, everything is so appreciable. Then, the unexpected blockade. Life was already worse, it made it worst. No buses on road but, we had  reach school any how. I can never forget the long walk to school.

I had to get ready so early with a small hope that I would be able to get the first bus to school. After waiting so long, packed bus would come, which even didn't have any place to stand, I managed to get on that bus and reached school. I can so proudly say that I didn't miss even a single day of my school because of the fuel crisis. Thanks to the stories shared by other fellows of our cohort who were placed in much rural place than me and had to walk so long everyday just to reach their school.  
These sequence of events let me explore my self and I find out that I am adaptive. I can adapt in any worse situation and even work on it.  

The days during the fellowship are tough but the coming days after fellowship aren't going to be easy too. The toughest part will be that I have to work for them, for their dreams being apart for them. But, I am ready to do anything for the sake of my children's dreams as their dreams are already mine. Choosing the fellowship was not an easy choice but I am thankful that I chose it. 

Being a Teach For Nepal Fellow, I have become more passionate about education. The dreams of my students, their small achievements are what I have started to link my life with. By now I have also realized to make a more remarkable impact, I need to work more and also bring more people on to it. The education system of Nepal will prosper only when more people are passionate about it. I am thankful that TFN made me more passionate for education. Finding own self is a tough job but what I feel is if we are able to find our passion, it makes it a bit easier, Happily, Teach For Nepal helped me find my self.