To my Angel in Heaven

Dearest Shova,

People call me mad for celebrating your birthday every year. Let them give me names…but that’s not going to stop me. 

For a while, I think you aren’t any more, but then I realize, it’s not the truth. You are there with me. I can see you. I can listen your sweet voice even now. It’s already a decade since we haven't met, but…

I just wish you would buy a cell phone soon. Hey, hasn't internet started there? Why don't you join Facebook?  

Yeah, I know it’s difficult for both of us. Thus, I am writing to you as this is the only way I can express my feelings. So, whenever I share, I feel you may be reading. Reading and then smiling.

Sometimes, I feel how my life would change if you were here? People would surely not tag me as a lonely introvert, since you were the one who knew how naughty I could be?

How long I could go on chatting? Love, life, career, friends…bla…bla..

After you left, I could never ever get connected with anyone. Never ever tried to share my feelings. A fear always grips me that I would lose them if I get connected, just as I lost you. Sometimes, I reflect and ask myself why?

Why I couldn’t forget you?

When I don’t remember most of the incidents of my childhood why your memory is still crystal clear?

But then, again, I realize it’s good that it lingers with me that’s why I am what I am today; I am living your dream life; an independent life where you can have the right to take your own decisions. 

Departing with you was the first tragedy that I had to go through and that I feel was very early. So, my frequent question to God is, “Was it necessary?”, though I don't believe in Him. That may be the reason he doesn't answer it. 

Again, I already told you, when I say this, people call me crazy. They opine I am not able to move on.

The reality is, I think you know…

Actually, I have moved on but with every steps that I take towards my future, your space becomes bigger. 

  

Wherever you are, I hope you are singing as beautiful as you used to. Hey, haven't you thought about recording your song? You would definitely be a big hit. :)

I miss you. 

Love,

Bhawana

P.S. Many many happy returns of the day. Happy Birthday. :)