Observations.........

Today, lots of observation classes, comments, compliments and so on...Swastika di along with Peter observed our classes and Peter as always was today at our school to give us some more trainings. I had listening activity with grade six and then we showed a video related with art in all the other classes and today for the first time to grade ten also. Then, we had a discussion about it what they learned from the video and so on. And it was really interesting.

Surprised........

Today my morning was very bad...........suffered from a terrible head ache.........had a bike accident while heading towards Lagankhel, difficulty while in outfit managment and so on...............It was really a bad morning. Then I entered grade six who greeted me with a good morning. That was just fine. Though I was feeling tired the class just went on as usual. Then, I went on to grade eight who also greeted me with the same good morning but this was quite unexpected for me as they always used to look so dizzy and were always eager to leave the classes. Then,  I started my lessons and they participated in all the activities. I was really surprised. The class went on...I was expecting that may be Dilip or Ashish would just start making nonsense questions or make fun out of my every words...But that did not happen. They just did well. I just did not know whether it was my dream or what ? I completed my lesson. By the time I ended the class, I was so happy that my head ache was gone and I could not go out of the class without thanking for their co-operation in learning.......I was so happy then my other classes were really awesome.................

Game of Truth........

Everything just went fine today. I just went according to the lesson plan and it was all nice but in grade nine today more than 50% of the students were absent. They had gone on a football tournament as our school was competing with one of the public schools of Lalitpur. So I thought not to start a new lesson and wanted to revise but the students were not in a mood to study. They just wanted to play. They pleaded and pleaded to play a game. So I thought to give them for a day. But I told them that you have to play the game which I will make them play. So I opted the game of truth where they have to speak the truth. I drew a line where the students should be at the middle and what ever the question I ask they have to answer the truth and should move towards the side to say yes or no. They agreed. Then I asked many questions related with their family, school and even personal lives. And they showed the positive response. They spoke the truth and I got to know many things about them. Thanks to Miss G............this idea was her's from the movie Freedom Writers...................and it worked well even in my class......

I Can.......

All set with the results to announce at the assembly of essay competition which we held last Friday. And when announcing the result all were surprised to hear that the person who they had not expected to win, had just won it and this is some extent I think am able to make the students feel that if they try then they can also be the winners. Those who cut their names at the beginning were also in the winning list. So I showed them with the proof that if they tried hard then, success is with them. Then, today I myself talked with Juni as she was not talking with me from few days and as she had won the essay competition also I gave the example that now she has become the winner so that she has to maintain it and become more disciplined as other students also follow her and I think I was quite successful. So my day was fruitful today........................and I also feel the vibes of 'I Can".............whatever the situation is................

CHALLENGE..................

Today, every thing was all fine.....just fine as every thing went according to my plans. But the thing what I learned today is firmness and tolerance is very essential to be a teacher when there is the situation when we being angry does not work...As every thing failed in grade eight, being firm and giving challenges to them as a teacher worked. They just always used to make fun even when I give them any exercises or teach them and even so many motivational speech just went in vain. Today I had given them to write a paragraph about an animal which they find strange with some reasons and asked Dilip to read....He just read so fast in funny way that no body could understand. So I requested him to say slowly..So he again made a fun out of it and said...Slowly and started to read..." I...T..H...I...N....K...H...Y....N....A...I...S...............". My mind just went out of my anger but as I already knew that this is not going to work, I just requested him to come out of the place from where he is sitting and we shall go to grade three students and she how they are learning to read words in the same way and as he was in grade 8, he has to learn from them the ways.. Then he became so ashamed and then when I told him to read he read nicely the time and even the next time also. And now I know that as a teacher I always should be ready to challenge them as they like that............just as Peter said I am the instructor not them........and yes, I am learning it day by.......day........

No Week Ends....................

We were again on a Mili Sessions and this time we were for leadership training by Resu Aryal Dhungana and it was very fruitful and knowledgeable and further I was very inspired by her politeness and her way of giving response. And today we just reflected about our leadership experiences and I just went back to my school days where I first learned about it and even I was very inspired by the leadership experiences of other fellows. Then as Shishir dai was back with us we shared our experiences and problems with him and he is just always there for us to help us and with very good suggestions.........

But yes, it's the fourth week that I am not celebrating my week ends.............So feeling really very tired physically but even more enthusiastic emotionally and day by day I am learning more....more and more..............

Attitude......................

Today, again, its another GOOD Friday..............Seetu had a plan to show a video for the students.

So we showed them the video on first and second period then they were too eager for them games as junior had quiz contest, students who were participating were busy reading their General Knowledge Books and those who were not participating were ready to be the audience and to cheer their friends. They were really very excited. The program was going good and the students who were being very excited and at the mean time Prashil, of grade seven started crying we did not know what happen asked the students and found out that Krishma, the first girl of the class was angry as he told him not to stand on the desk as he is the class captain, and she banged his head on the wall...Yes, he was hurt so he cried and later on he stopped crying but Krishma was not ready to accept her mistake. We can say again that the students who are considered talent by the teachers have the attitude problem...and she was also suffering from its. They think they are the best but the truth is different in reality...So how can we make them learn about it..And yes, Juni.............today also she did not speak a single word to me??? And now I am in confusion, should I go and talk to her myself or should I wait for her to come and talk with me................I don't know and after quiz I had an essay contest to organize and it went smoothly..After that we had Peter sharing us some classroom management techniques...But what I am feeling is class room techniques works sometimes and sometimes it makes the situation more worse...........

Never ending problems....................

Each day holds a different experience to me.........And today some bitter experiences..I experimented the classroom management techniques taught us by Peter in my classes..It worked well at grade six and seven and at class eight whatever technique I use they don't care about it. They are just in their own way and when I did that in grade nine the first person to have her name on the board on sad  faces was the first girl of that class Juni....I could leave her as this was the first time she was not paying attention but I did not as I leave her now she will repeat it..So I put her name on the sad face and told her to write and show me one essay after the class and as soon as she was punished she just got angry and did not participate in any of the activities and even she did not talked to me after the class also...What have found in our school is that the ranking system of children has affected the children's attitude a lot..They think themselves superior and Juni is also facing the same problem and not only she, the person who stands first in the class has the same problem here..So one day I recognize a problem, think about it, search it and find a solution next day, the following day I find another problem...and I think it will go on and on for these two years.............................

Improving.......

Today was one of the fantastic days at Jyotidaya as all of my classes went according to my plans. I did listening activity at grade six and seven and taught grammar at eight and nine...I do listening activity with my cell phone and it does not have a high volume but also the students enjoy it and they always make pin drop silence to listen it carefully.. And today it happened the same. This makes me really very happy and now a days students are being gradually habituated to group activities and other practices and today when grade six who never wanted to do any group activity was actively participating is Suman's Class...He was so happy that he could not just stay without sharing to Seetu and me. We were on our leisure and watched the class. We became so happy to see them working together....So gradually we are also learning and the students are also learning....

I am the coordinator of essay competition which is going to held coming Friday but only few students were ready to participate. I asked the students why they were not interested in they replied that they were afraid of failure. So I had to tell them my own story that how I managed to gain confidence through those competitions in my life and the importance of it..and after that some of the students became ready to participate...So sometimes we ourselves are the role models for them..as my expectations and confidence towards them worked today............

Expectations.....

Today my day started with a letter, which I got as soon as I entered the School and the letter goes like this......................
Dear lovely teacher..................
Bhawana

I think you became sad in the class because of me. So, I am really really sorry to you. You just wanted me to be quiet in the class room and one thing when I cried in your period I think that you felt very bore. So, I beg you so, leave me fore one day. Can you give me chance for that my bad mistake because of me. I promised that I will never beak your dream and heart. so I requested to you always keep happy and smile also.

Hope you will try to understand me.
                                                                        It's ur student
                                                                      ..................................
The student really felt guilty and what I found was not in my period only s/he was attentive in all the other subjects..So this also gave me a lesson. Punishment is not the right thing what we keep on thinking as the best tool to make student disciplined but the thing is that how much we care them and expect from them..I am really happy that slowly they are feeling that we have a very high expectation from them and that's why they should fulfill it..Though there are grammatical errors in the letter, I feel that now this will improve gradually. So today my whole day was good..
And, Peter was also in our school today for observation and he also forwarded a good feedback with some comments and I promise that I will fulfill his expectation as he is my teacher.............

Plus.....Minus.......

Every day is a new experience. And today it was also one of them. Each day I try to do something new with my students so that they would not feel bore and yes today I was prepared to do Grammar Auction, a fun way of teaching grammar, with them. I did it in grade six and seven and I was happy to see totally enjoying and learning. At the end of class in grade seven, when I asked Anim the question, he answered and today his voice was little higher than it used to be before and he looked so cute when he was smiling. I just can't express how happy I am. 

But, this happiness was followed by sadness as well, while teaching in grade nine some students were making noise...I tried a lot to grab their attention but could not and I scolded them then suddenly one student started to cry..I could not understand why she was crying as I had done nothing..But I then wrote a sorry note for her and put it in her homework copy saying that there is nothing to worry about. I was scolding them just because they would do better because I know they can do better than that. And requested to focus on study..........I don't know whether the student has looked the letter or not but I am hopeful he/she will realize his/her mistake...............

Then after school, we attended at the wedding of one of our colleagues' sister's wedding as whole of the school teaching member was invited. We enjoyed a lot there...And the day ended with the mixture of happiness and sadness.....

Totally Exhausted.......

Oh, God I just can’t say how difficult it was to manage whole of my classroom because of my saree as I was wearing saree for the first time for such a long period and the problem was I don’t know how to put on a saree. So I just had to allocate some more time to put on a saree today but thank God I was on time. 

We went to school and our student were just coming to us and looking us. They all had something to comment us. Some of them would call their friends just to see us wearing the saree today. I just don’t want to share how difficult it was to wear it and teach. I have a thought that we have to be comfortable first to teach nicely but this saree was just creating a problem. But as this is our uniform now onwards I should have to feel comfortable with it and I hope I will be used to with it very soon.

Taking about the class, it all went according to the lesson plans. But I had to take some extra time in grade eight as I was lecturing them to be disciplined in classroom and all those manners stuff. As we are given the responsibilities of the houses, today we had to select the members and the captains. So after school also we were busy on that and after that again I had the responsibility of making gen nep volunteers for community based project. 

So again more than a hour we were on forming student council. So we were late for the home…..and talking about me I am totally tired and just want to go home and sleep but I know I can’t do that as I have lesson plans to make for tomorrow……………….

Appretiation.......

Again, today we were together to be recharged ( word borrowed from Prabin dai), i.e for our classroom management, lesson plans and leadership training. Today's class became very fruitful as peter and Swastika di gave us some practical knowledge to link what we learned at training with that of our textbooks and our situation at class room. But what I remember the most now is that what Swastika di said that we have to face lots of challenges and we make lots of mistakes similarly, we do lots of mistakes but the thing is that at the same time we do many remarkable things which we are not taking care and which are to be considered. So we should appreciate even our small achievements. But today when I listened other fellows achievements, what they did in their classroom and what they are doing to adapt in the community has really inspired me. 

And I do want to appreciate them from the core of my heart...Oh, and yes, today we all had happy faces as we got the laptops and internet devices.............yippee..............

Busy Friday...........

Friday................as always a good Friday..........I remember my school days when teacher used to enter our class and we all used to shout together.......GOOOOOOD FRIDAAAAY..........so that the teacher would not teach and let us play games..And it happens the same in my class also...They just want to play. As I am known to it I always make them play games on Fridays but I am aware that while playing also they would be able to learn and today also I made them play games of verb, adjective and noun and they enjoyed it a lot..Ya, students had their good Friday playing games but as a teacher I did not have as I was too busy today as well. After class, we had staff meeting for two hours where we talked about new methods of teaching, resources and many more concerned with our school and children. And right after that we had to go to TFN house for more trainings but yes I was really happy to see all my 33 friends together after one month and we shared our problems. We sharing we used to feel that our problem is minor in front of others problem..

But, this good Friday did not give me time to just relax...Days are being too busy and hectic but at the same time, I am enjoying..

What to do ????????????????????????

I don't know what to say about today.....It was normal, just as per the lesson plan in all the classes till the tiffin break but after that there was something serious. I was doing as per my lesson plan and it was the time for guided practice and one of the student was not participating actively. I was taking notice that this was happening from few days. So, today I asked her, at first she did not want to tell but I kept on convincing her and she spoke up. She had a serious family problem. When she shared I could not tell her any thing. I just kept on thinking what would be the answer to her at that situation. But I just convinced her that not to take that in mind and suddenly I was called at office as Ananda, from Gen-nep had come.So we talked to him about our social project and I also told him about the psychological problems that girl students are facing and  he promised us to bring some psychologist as per possible so as we could help the girl students. Then, I called Swastika di  what would be the best to do at those moments when student share their very personal problems and she helped me. While I am writing this also, I am still thinking about her............

New Month.....

The first day of Jestha is a mixed one in the sense, I have both the positive and negative responses. As per our plan, our first month would be focused on rapport building with students, I am happy that we have done that....Our smily formula, i.e. giving smiles on right answers while checking copies is working nicely with all the students. Grade six students have some how started to be in discipline while grade seven students are always active and participatory. Grade eight students just ignore the classes, they don't care about what the teacher is teaching. They are always on their own mood. During first few weeks, I felt that they were doing so only in my class but after I discussed with other fellows, I found that they were just carefree in all the classes. Today also, they did the same. So, I just used the emotional blackmailing formula of Swasthika di......and yes, it worked today. They felt sorry. But I don't know this was just for today or they will be good tomorrow also...I am just eager to take the class tomorrow...Just I don't have words how to express about grade nine students. They have become too close to us. They share every thing with us, even a small thing and they now desire to share their tiffins with us..They always invite us to eat together during brakes. Until we come, they all will not eat...Today also they were doing the same, we had some work at office so we were late and they were waiting for us without eating. After we came we all shared what we have with each other.That is good or bad w e don't know, but they simply co-operate with us.

And today, the class was just different, I had to give the test papers with marks today and those who were considered the first had got some what equal marks with those of average students. So those students who were considered talent cried for getting less number...I just got confused and started to advise them about the importance of practical education not that just oriented on marks.

Appretiation

Today, I went to school after two days and during the assembly I thought to appreciate the work of Juni and Suave. So I called them in front of assembly and talked about the workshop and what we did and then, I made all of the students and teachers to clap for them so that they as well as other students would get motivated. Then, today my whole day went on giving information about the workshop and the social action project and discussing about the student council.

Enthusiasm.....

Today is the final day of workshop of British Council and today we learned about the concept 'Nation First' and we also talked about the notion of nation first whether we have it or not ? and during the discussion I got the opportunity to make Teach For Nepal known and broadcast about its objectvies and also some more about Jyotidaya and the problems it is facing and how it is supporting the  children to get quality educaton at minimum price. The discussion became very fruitful . Many reputed schools were excited to run classrooms and activities incorporating Jyotidaya's students. Similarly, Juni and Suave were also motivated from that discussion and at the end of the session, I really saw confidence in them which they had not on the first day. Interaction with other school's teacher was also very beneficial. Moreover, they also gave idea about the social action projects through Gen-nep, which we can do and they also promised for some funds for that after analyzing our projects. So overall I can say this workshop helped a lot in my way of  transforming Jyotidaya......

Good Start.....

On the second day of residential workshop of British Council, we learned about student leadership  more broadly, student council and social projects that they can do at their school. Every thing is going well and my students spoke today and I am so happy. They were just shy and not ready to speak till yesterday and today they spoke. What I found is that they know but they are afraid, they just need some motivation. Today teachers and students of same school were allowed to sit together and I don't know what happened to them they just felt confident that someone is just beside them helping and were raising their hand in every question they were asked and we were also asked to do the vision setting of our school and Juni and Suave were the first to complete that. Though they were not declared the first for presentation, they left a mark and made other schools remember their schools name which is also a good start. But today I realized that student's performance has great importance to a teacher because they were speaking for the first time in front of so many people and most of them from the reputed ranked schools who just speak so brilliantly and when they were doing their presentation, oh my god, my legs were shaking and this I have never felt in my life even if I was doing any presentation. And when they just finished and came I was so happy, that I can't express here........

Then, we were taken to a rehab center, where students were given opportunity to know about drug addiction and its effects then they were also given chance to talk to the people living in rehab center about their life and they were very excited about that.

 

At evening we did lots of fun activities like informative drams, poems, songs and dance...All the students were so amazing in their performances.

Out of home again.......

Again, after six weeks residential training at TFN, now I am out of home for three nights residential training and this is not only for me but for my students.. Here I am at Hotel View Bhrikuti, Godawari. This time, I am here for leadership development of students of Jyotidaya as Himalayan Climate Initiative has a very good project for student's leadership i.e. Gennep where students can boost up their leadership quality. Two students of schools under British Council's program connecting school are in this program. I am here with Juni Deshar and Suave Shakya of grade 9 and these students will be trained for three days and will have to later make a student council at school themselves where they have to voice for their rights, help other students and as a whole, we can call that they are learning to be a leader. 

The training is very interesting. I am sharing a room with Sawana Joshi, a teacher from Dhangadhi and students are given different rooms so that they could interact with friends from other school. Other schools are the top private schools from all over the country and ours is only a co-operative school and every teacher has a question for me actually what type of school is it and how does it run ? Has it enough resources or not ? and many more...But the most interesting thing what I am finding is I am the youngest teacher of among the 20 teachers and a very funny thing happened that we were told to introduce as if we were introducing an unknown person in a fish market and a teacher of one reputed school of Kathmandu asked me :which grade do you study ? You look different. You have a very nice spectacle." and I told,"No, I am a teacher." She became very surprised and told me I don't look like a teacher. I am just thinking, what should I do to look like a teacher ?

But ya, students are learning with fun and what I feel is that this is the first time my students are participating and I see some nervousness in their faces but what the way they are participating is very appreciative. But they have lot more to do and yes, I am boosting up their confidence giving my 100 % but I have to do more I know that because as they were curious about Teach For Nepal and when I told about it, they even doubted us and some of them even said volunteer teachers just ruin the students. So, there's lot more to do to prove us.

And ya, not to forget we had an awesome dance party with lots of fun at the evening...............

Hope...............

Today, we enjoyed our Good Friday, but before that as suggested by Swastika di, I had to do an open discussion about bullying with my grade six students as they were facing these problems. And I did that, the class was good and I got a good response from my students and I hope that this problem will reduce slowly. And then we held a drawing competition. But today I found another problem in my school that is of gender discrimination. That is students are not participating in programs just because they had to participate with opposite sex students. As from tomorrow, we have to join the Gennep workshop for which we had to choose one girl and one boy from grade eight and nine. But some of the talented girls did not participated just because they had to work with a boy. They had been rared up in a traditional mindset and it's very difficult to change that. But I am really working hard to change that and in these two years I will really get 

success. 

At the moment, I am really being excited for tomorrow as I am going with our two students Juni Deshar and Suave Shakya at Gennep Workshop for three days. So, am also preparing for good. Fingers crossed that our students will do good and we may learn many new things. 

Support….

It’s a normal day…just going on normally, the class was also going normal with the listening activities. Students were participating nicely and some students always want to run from class whatever we do either it’s a game or study… And yes, today it was no different. So always I had to lure them to participate and today I had some dairy milk chocolates for them. If they would listen the audio properly and answer my question they would get those chocolates. And it worked they participated as well but now what I am thinking is if it happens regularly how much budget would I have to separate for chocolates ??????

Then, at 2 pm, we had Ananda and Prakriti from Himalayan Climate Initiative with their Project ‘The Gen Nep’ at our school for some information as they were providing ‘Sadbhav Scholarships’ to the students and from them we came to know that they also are working in collaboration with us for that by providing four needy students the scholarships from the schools each where TFN fellows are teaching. 

They were making the students feel that the nation comes first among all the others and we our self have to change first as ‘We are the change’. During the class, I remembered Swastika di’s question,” I am the change, but who am I? Today when they were giving the class, a thought came in my mind that we just have to move one step for the change and in rest of the other steps to move we get many friends to support us and yes, the same was happening. They were also in our support on our way of transformation. And they also talked about Gen Nep Champions and also wanted Jyotidaya’s students to participate in this project as champions. Then there was an interactive discussion about the organization and the projects. So today was one of the fruitful day in my opinion till now.And yes, today we were happy to meet Samden at our school as he had returned for his few days vacation from Ekudol..

Hope for myself…….

Days are not always same nor the feelings and yes, today was my day not so good as I had some personal problems due to which my feelings were also not that good and I was not so fresh. But I was totally aware of my feelings and I had the realization that I should not have to show this to my students in the class. I reached school, went for my first class at grade 6, today was the day of our speaking activity and I was doing according to my lesson plan, I was doing it and I could see some students were making noise and I was also aware that I was slowly losing my temper, I just kept on controlling but the situation was getting more worse. So I just could not control… in a loud voice I counted 5…4….3…2….1 and stop talking……..to control myself I just thought of meditating and told the students to close their eyes and be quiet and start meditating for 3 minutes..oh, God how difficult it is to control the anger…

Other classes were normal, and at grade seven the students participated in speaking activity so well that it went an awesome class and I was so happy that I forgot all my problems and my day went good after that.. So, what I think is that not only I am giving the students the hope in their life, I am also getting a hope for my life…